FLAPSANDWICH

Phone In Sick 2012 @ The Globe, Cardiff

2012-02-06T00:59:00.011Z

So the Phone In Sick Party was a massive success even with the problems which arose prior to the event, with my flat flooding, the after party venue (the lovely Netty's shop) burning down, people bad mouthing us and scaring the venue into nearly cancelling the gig and then finally The Filth phoning in sick as his new baby was imminent!!! All pretty stressful but we slotted in stand in drummer Matt FUOD who had never played with us before and we ran through 2 songs just before the doors opened and BANG!!! the venue filled to capacity in no time with smiling happy faces from all across the UK.

A great night was had by all with Aceeater getting the place buzzing and a nice set from DJ Tommy Tank and Shaun Feral Disco... then My Bad Sister caused a bit of a stir in their warm up slot... Conker was missing and had been on a complete BENDER over the previous few weeks boshing all sorts of shit and generally completely off it and had decided no one was allowed to talk in his company only himself and if anyone disobeyed him he ejected them from his house. He regularly declared that he was diagnosed as a genius by the family doctor at the age of 5 and he hadn't sleep in days and we were all a bit worried...

We started the gig without him thinking he's either totally lost it and is banged up somewhere or he thinks he is so important he can turn up whenever the fuck he likes. The latter proved to be right as we stopped the music during the second track and the crowd parted to make way for his royal highness Dr Conker.. he was sporting some fucked-up make up with a zip that was half opened round his head... and was completely off his tits. He grabbed the mic and started squawking into it about random shit but held it so far from his trap no one could understand him, aside from the people at the front who looked completely baffled as he whipped himself into a frenzy about all the things he hates... and the fact he has secured an American tour for us (which turns out to be true!) he then went on a politcial rant about Plaid Cymru and half the punks in the event left immediately.

Doghouse grabbed the mic back and we smashed fuck out of the place for the remainder of the night.. it's a real shame the place closed down early and the bouncer stopped lettting people in at 1am... but spirits were high and everyone went back to various houses in the area to carry on the madnesss. Doghouse's bedroom was host to a plethora of freaks who danced well into the following Tuesday led by the warped and legendary front-man throwing shapes incessantly in a baby grow and none other than Colonel Puddinghead on the decks (now known merely as 'Pud' after his demotion)!

The gig marked the start of a 10 week break for the band, returning with a flurry of gigs in Portugal in April.

although i was a bit disappointed with the soundsystem in The Globe, the venue was awesome and the staff great, also the soundman Mr Jake Tilley done a fantasic recording of our gig and mixed and mastered the entire mess just for you.

go grab a copy here (pay what you want).

Grandmaster Flash - The Message (flapsandwich re-rub)

2012-02-04T16:24:00.000Z

Grandmaster Flash - The Message (flapsandwich re-rub)

THIS IS THE END

2011-12-22T14:57:00.000Z

for five years i have been writing SHIT on this here BLOGGER blog.

last week GOOGLE deleted my youtube channel, my google+, my online TANTRUM shop and all the blog websites i have built for other people AND the here BLOG you are reading!!

I was fucking furious! there was no warning and no reasons other than:'YOU HAVE VIOLATED GOOGLES TERMS AND CONDITIONS'

not very good timing as i had just invested my fucking RENT into a load of T-Shirts hoping they would sell for Christmas and hey presto the SHOP WAS FUCKING DEAD!!!!

i emailed and complained and filled in every form there was.... after 48 hours, with no communication my youtube channel was back, althought i couldn't log in.Eventually everything started coming back to life. And last of all the shop came back to life, WAY TOO FUCKING LATE for the post man to deliver christmas prezzies!!!!

FOR THIS REASON i am trying to get the fuck away from all google products as much as possible!!!

YOUTUBE WILL BE THE HARDEST as i have built up a big channel with over a third of a million views but as of TODAY my blog will no longer be here.. as i thought i had lost FIVE YEARS OF ARCHIVES and shat myself so fuck them... you can now follow the flap here on TUMBLR. (just trying to work out how to map my domain to it - NO IDEA!!!)

as for google+ - well that aint really happnin is it? so what do i replace youtube with? vimeo? dont seem to be many people on it and there seems to be restrictions on what you can upload.

also looking for a new search engine and any other possible ways of getting the fuck away from Google!!! let me know...

ADIOS

its been nice posting here for 5 years but FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rub Me Up

2011-12-15T05:40:00.000Z

here it is. i'm not sure if it's finished or not.. but fuck it. 10 tracks, remixes in da flappy stylee... hope you enjoy:

The Flapsandwich Re-Rubs Vol 2 by Tantrum Records

drop us a comment and let us know your thoughts...

A Turd in The Bird's Nest

2011-12-12T06:52:00.007Z

sicknote live at Bird's Nest, Deptford, London 9/12/11

AND DR. CONKER CAME BACK!

6pm we left cardiff and off we flew up the M4.

Conk was quiet with his eyes closed dreaming of books, money and boys...

Johnny was rubbing his injured foot while tucking into his 3rd bottle of whiskey

Sheep n Pip were under a big arsed devut stoned off their box and eating sweets

The Filth was face down into his iphone

I was sucking on my pretend cigarette and

Doghouse and Stevie G were up front...

on the stereo on repeat was the new song we laid down the previous night.. "I'm Having A Whitey" which sounded edgy, exciting, awful, banging, ametuer and amazing all at once...

We arrived to a lively pub, with a dried up puke on the door matt, some smiley crusties and some LOUD music! After being thrown some beer tokens I was refused the pint of Guinness i craved for 4 hours in the back of the fucking van... "only cans of piss sorry mate" Grrrrrrr!

Andy K and his Hairy Cheek smashed it!

The venue was a good old school pub and as we warmed our cockles a short Chinese dude with one hairy cheek took to the stage armed with an ipod, a guitar, a tom drum, and some kind of weird elctro squelchy machine. He proceeded to bang the shit out of it all with a stick and the room was infected by the amount of fun this guy was having.. he literally didn't give a shit! He then announced his CD was 20p, so i gave him 20p and shook his hand. I had just witnessed one of the best sets of 2011. I think his name was Andy K, i'll add more info when i dig out the CD i bought..

Suddenly there was a potent stench of human shit in the air. I mean not a little bit. i mean i was choking on the stench. i know i give up smoking recently so i may be sensitive, but right now i wanted to smoke the strongest fuckin fag in the world...fuck it gimme a bong! Anything to rid my windpipe of this TASTE!
I went outside for air. came back in and headed back stage to a small kitchen. Doghouse entered and bang the stench was back.. "fuck man you shat yourself or what?" "little messy" he replied as he started to wash his hands. i legged it to the stage...

Only to discover there was no monitor speaker. Not ideal when your drummer is practically deaf!
Luckily they managed to wire up a fat bass amp which was distorted to fuck but we pointed it at Filthy's head. bingo, the room was tiny, the system was pretty fat and a good little crowd of mad heads gathered as Doghouse entered the stage with a clean pair of trousers on!!!! "WTF!?!?!"
"Had a little accident" he sheepishly confessed, "Stevie G had a spare pair in the van"
"Phew!" We've all been there.

Sheep, Doghouse and Conker warming up

BANG!!! we dropped the bassline from ectoplasmic to a rip roaring cheer.. and a twitch from the dogs sphincter signalled the start of a frenzy as people began to rock and bounce and go mental.. i could see some friendly faces like Lou Disgrace, Bri and Sam covered in sweat and enjoying themselves.. the crowd spilled onto stage and Smaragda my laptop was all over the place, Doghouse stood up and belted out the words to 'TAXI for LIONEL BLAIR' and the crowd launched him into my laptop and disconnected it completely.... we brought it back in soon after and the crowd were getting riotous...
i was looking forward to debuting the new punk single "Whitey" when suddenly we were cut off with no explanation...and some Samba was being played through the system. eveyone looked at me as they thought i was playing the shit.. confused . com

after 2 minutes i fought my way to the soundman and screamed "WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU STUPID CUUUUUUUUUUNT" in his face. we packed up. then trying to get paid turned into a Benny Hill sketch as i chased Bri around the venue...
finally i cornered her and she said "i'll pay you half as you only played half a set"
NO FUCKN CHANCE i said as i prised the envelope out of her hands..

back in the van, the stereo spat out the biggest sack of distorted shit all the way home and my head was banging - no rest here folks! welcome to the sickbus.
i had a muffin with Ninjah at 7am in MCdonalds and off to bed i went.

...........AND RELAX!

time to get back to the studio!!!

only ONE more GIG in 2011!!! what a year. what a night. what a fuckin band.

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

2011-12-07T18:38:00.003Z

here it is... a remix of an excellent band from Glasgow, THE GIROBABIES...

let us know ya thoughts.. free download right here..
big thanks to Tommy Tank for help in the edit, arrangement, mixing and mastering!!!
lok out for some new shit from us soon...

The Girobabies - What Could Go Wrong (Flapsandwich Re-Rub) by Tantrum Records

Beautiful Imperfections (!) ?

2011-11-05T08:46:00.001Z

here is the first tune i have made exclusively on Cockos Reaper software. It is a remix of that cheesey Calvin HArris song, but i've just nicked the vocal and taken the tune somewhere much darker... let us know what you think. No reason was used in the making of this track...

just noticed the cymbals go out of time towards the end of the track. but it is an experiment in space and simplicity. ah well. fuck it. next!

"It seems a fantastic paradox, but it is nevertheless a most important truth, that no architecture can be truly noble which is not imperfect."
-John Ruskin

things change and people change

2011-11-04T20:37:00.002Z

so since PHONE IN SICK DAY this year.. i lost the fuckin plot. with a 900 word DISS emailed to me while chilling with my misses in Cornwall, from my co-pilot and band partner Doghouse. 900 words on why i am such a CUNT. And then being let down later in the year by some other friends and associates... and acquaintances. Hmmmm.

I sometimes feel like no-one gets me. Then when your closest friends fuck you in the arse it can send you over the edge.

i done nothing for a few months and distanced myself from several people, and the band had the quietest Summer since we begun while i was busy working shit out. but fuck it. something needed to change and this was the fuckin beginning.

dealing with BETRAYAL from all sorts of other angles and generally feeling let down by most and every fucker i know, i lost direction this year. Which led me to sell almost all my belongings and almost drop the lot to start something new. With unanswered questions on why people were acting certain ways... and other people who have blatantly taken the piss without explanation...... it's been a struggle. I have had to let people go.

BUT this all changed in the last few days... I have spoken to some people this week who have put things into perspective, i can't explain what has happened yet. But i will. And it was mind blowing.

I know exactly what the fuck i'm doing now. AND i am no longer going to be guilt tripped into peoples fuckin sad situations to make them progress or feel better. I mean it when i say everyone can go FUCK THEMSELVES.

This Winter is now an EXPERIMENT in music production. I plan to put the techniques needed to polish my turds into action... and sink into the studio.. i will remix. i will collaborate and i will try and make the Sicknote Foel Jam into an album (which is a fucking stupidly MASSIVE job)

I begin this week. With the help of DJ Tommy Tank in the studio. And i'm fucking buzzing. As much as I love gigging they only getting in the fuckin way right now as i am advancing in the studio which is exactly what Sicknote and I need. The time is coming. The album is coming.

Filth's new baby is coming... so PHONE IN SICK will mark a 3 month break from live gigs.. this will bring us up to the start of summer when i hope to have a hand full , if not an album full, of kicking tracks that will blow the bollocks off the world and do us justice at last.

All is good.
Fuck every one who ever betrayed me. YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE you fucking fucks.

_________________________________________________________________________________

"We're all hypocrites, but by admitting it, you transcend it and it no longer becomes a personality defect as it is in the people who blindly cling to their own self-righteousness. By knowing all this you grow from it. I've grown from it." -Marilyn Manson
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

here is the new video i put together today for the band i breathe, live and love.
It's made up of a great scene i loved from the movie 'Paris Je'taime':

Ps. Halloween was a glorious mess with the shittest soundsystem i have ever played through and a pig's head being thrown at the crowd. fucking brilliant.

PPs. this website might disappear soon as several people are asking me to change stories to protect them. you may need to wait for the book if this continues... ;)

I Get These Bad Days...

2011-10-15T19:26:00.003Z

So after too much drink and too much takeaway shit food, while on the run, i hit a brick wall.

Earlier this week, after a a great weekend away for Doghouse's Birthday Bash... i i ate a dodgy fishcake from a chippy in Canton. The next morning i was walking through the park and my insides decided to splatt out on a near by tree. and again . and again. 9 spues later i was back in my bed. and for 2 days i couldn't move. All i could do was groan. Intermitted with irritating phone calls from chatty irritating people....i weren't feeling too good.

I managed to pick up the misses from the airport and realised as i arrived i felt exactly the same way last time i picked her up... i was puking in a hedge and had to cancel the Sicknote in Lakota gig i remembered. and now exactly the same feeling. odd. what the fuck is going on...? i hope i aint dying but i seem to be fuckin ill a lot lately. i'll get checked out n let you know...we got back to cardiff. and i had to get into bed and groan some more.

From my sick bed i decided to have a bash at re-rubbing that practically unknown Charlatans' tune 'BAD DAYS'.

Now i love this tune as is is.. but it was the intro that always stunned me to a silence, the rest of the track is mint but the intro had such a huge dark overpowering resonating hug for my mind....i just wanted to take this.... and make it more Euphoric and repetitive and banging.. and make people go nuts on the dancefloor but still keep the darkness. Dark and Euphoric? yeh! anyways...

i spent a while fuckin round with it between sleep and stomach pains feeling fackin ruff. fucksake init. then a car screached outside the window and we heard a thump n a whimpering yelp. FUCK!!!!!

a dead dog was quickly covered in a blanket and a woman wept upon it...

Bad Days

download the tune free FOR YOU: here
the video was nicked from a very talented and awesome film maker by the name of DJ
show some love by subscribing to his channel here,

drop us a comment and let me know what ya think init. safe

The Truest Voice

2011-10-11T21:01:00.003Z

THE PERFECT TIME

wow. this post about listening and trusting your inner voice has just blown my mind. it was written by Chris Brogan today and has come just at the right time for me. with several questions i have bouncing around my head i was struggling to get answered i stumbled across the post 'Your Loudest Voice' and felt compelled to expand on it and explain how what Chris talks about works for me.

DO OTHERS KNOW THE ANSWER?

When you are Stuck do you find yourself asking everyone you know for the answer to your dilemma? Have you struggled finding your true path in life? Then made complete wrong turns by listening to other's brilliant advice - often people who really care about you? They try to keep you on a path that is wise or makes more sense to them. I had several years of trying to please various people... thinking they knew best.

THEN WHO HAS THE ANSWER?

Only after many years of doing things i hated i realised i must listen to the higher force, my own personal god, or my inner voice if you will. i see it as a infinitely wise being that is all and knows all and is connected to all. it is the universe. and the only way to connect with the all knowing universe is via your mind, as your mind is a mini-universe and is the same thing. nothing. and everything. space. the mind is a universe in your head. it is connected to the main universe, which in turn is connected to everything else... so all questions asked by the mind can be answered by the all knowing universe, with no warped sense of perception that other people will always have.

HOW DO I ASK FOR THE ANSWER?

we need to learn how to connect to the higher force. and there are a few ways.

1. travel (without plans)

2. doing what you love

3. helping others

4. silence / breathing / nature

i have not found any more as yet. but these things definitely open up the channels to the universe and show you the way.

The problem with other people's advice is often they are trying to get you to be safe because they care about you. i can think of several examples in my life where people have genuinely tried to stop me doing shit i love because they were worried about me. Completely ridiculous! i have several examples coming to mind where friends and family have ill-advised me as they are seeing it from a certain angle - THEIR ANGLE! have you had this happen in your life? and then acted on it to please the people around you!??

SO PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS WRONG?

I think the right advice CAN come from people if you are in one of the connecting modes listed above. The universe can send you signals to help you on your way, be it books, songs, people, signs........but your frame of mind needs to be right to receive these.

If you are just desperately asking people for advice or listening to people because you feel lost then you are in a position to take any advice that comes your way. i suggest you block out all noise and connect to the universe. Use one of the techniques above, they have all worked for me. The danger of not tuning into the real answer is that you will end up doing things that make sense to other people and not your core belief, morals and passion.

AIN'T IT ALL A BIT HIPPY?

The Portal to The Higher Force

well yeah, maybe! but it works for me. i can even see the portal that connects my mind to the universe. It's like a green comma in the distance of my mind. a bit like the vodaphone logo(!) it's like a plug hole to the bigger universe... and when i connect it spins!! no shit!! ok i'm losing you now.........

but the truth is, any which way you chose to go it doesn't really matter and there are goodies along each path you might end up on. So just connect, listen, go with your instinct and enjoy the ride!

Ps. had some really tough decisions to make lately and as much as ALL my friends advise me the same thing my instinct is saying the OPPOSITE!! My girlfriend is away so i came to her empty silent flat and bam!! there was my sign to help me come to a decision.... so i thank you Chris Brogan for writing a truly inspiring post today.

Being Sad / Losing CTRL

2011-10-08T13:15:00.004Z

“People feel happy to the degree we feel in control of our lives..."

– but we give away our happiness by blaming circumstances we cannot control.”

-Rick Butts

Do you think there is any truth in this statement? Would you agree......?

Why do we insist on concentrating on things that are out of our control?

Have you ever been angry at someone who doesn't even know you're angry at them? Or angry at your finances? A bill? A dodgy driver on the road? An irritating business colleague? Piss-taking friends?
Have you ever been angry at stuff that you can't control? Is there really anything you can do to change these things? Or is it just pointless giving them energy and robbing yourself of your potential happiness?

By concentrating on the things we can control and getting them right, every small detail... then we can begin to bring a state of control and happiness into our lives, and no-one can mess with this.

"What is happiness?": many have tried to decipher this only to realise it's completely immeasurable and means different things to different people, and different things to the same person depending on where they are viewing if from. But for the sake of keeping things simple, maybe we can begin to find some happiness when we let go of the things we can't control and make sure the things we can control are how we want them to be.

Check out these great videos from Rick Butts, and drop us any thoughts below.

promoting your music: SOUNDCLOUD vs YOUTUBE

2011-10-07T18:33:00.008Z

There's so many places to promote your music online... with a Premium Soundcloud account, a facebook music account, ilike, reverbnation, myspace, fuckin spotify, myband, itunes, and osama knows what else.It all get's a bit confusing after a while.. but after scanning Tantrum Records stats we can safely say... none of the above have been quite as powerful as Youtube! YES, youtube...

The reason why it's so good for music is that:

1. It's the 3rd most visited website in the WORLD!

2. Loads of people use it to listen to music.

3. It's very easy to share videos to LOTS of other websites.

4. It's FREE

This here is my most watched video on my youtube account:

FREELANCE OPPORTUNIST by Sicknote...

just touching 20,000 views... The same song on soundcloud (which costs us £315 a year to host our music on) we have had 83 plays. The other problem with soundcloud is that it's FULL of producers... so you're pushing your music to people who make music, I mean what's the point, right?

I would also go as far as saying DON'T WORRY ABOUT MAKING A VIDEO on youtube! Literally don't bother! people use it as a jukebox... so unless you really are making something that is really entertaining and putting some effort into it.. just slap your audio up and a jpg of your logo as the video... this is easy enough in most video software.

I remixed La Roux a while back, i had no video, so just slapped my logo on it and...............

hey presto, almost 2,000 plays... the same song on soundcloud?

81 plays.

Here is a breakdown of the actual figures for my Tantrum Records' Soundcloud vs Youtube:

Soundcloud:

TOTAL SONGS: 227

TOTAL PLAYS: 47,055

AVERAGE PLAYS: 207

Youtube:

TOTAL VIDEOS: 168

TOTAL PLAYS: 375,391

AVERAGE PLAYS: 2,234

So, to summarise....

GET YOUR MUSIC ON YOUTUBE.

The 3rd Scottish Leg

2011-10-05T15:00:00.013Z

So… It's Sunday night..... I'm in the van… in the back with the equipment, I've just pissed in a bottle. The rest of the crew is up front half asleep and the atmosphere is weird coz Filthy just fuckin lost it coz we got ripped off by Scotland again, and in his fuming state, spat on doghouses head.

We are heading back to Cardiff…. Only about 8 hours to go(!) I'm writing this on my laptop and will post up on my blog when I get home...

What a feckin weekend.

Friday was boiling in Cardiff - the continuing Indian summer was boiling up and up and we all felt great. 8 hours in the sickbus with Stevie G at the controls with his new chauffeurs hat on, and we were in Glasgow - pissing it down. Absolutely pissing it! Yet another Sicknote holiday in the rain while everyone back home enjoys a fuckin heatwave! Lucky Baaaastards!

The nice folk at Pivo Pivo sorted us a few pizzas and a few grolsch.. and the venue filled up nicely. some nice bands played including The Sneaky Russians, Pablo Eskimo and the Girobabies all of which done the business. wicked stuff.

We were introduced on stage by a true Scotsman, in a black kilt and a huge earring which had his earlobe dangling somewhere near his arse.... his name: Haggis.......He introduced us by busting a one man symphony on his bagpipe…
then, WOMP the bassline from 'Ectoplasmic' induced a warm spunky woop from the guts of the crowd… Then BAM the beat kicks in.

Then cue The Filth, BANG. The place went insane as Doghouse screamed the immortal freaky line "IS THERE ANYBODY THERE?" with bloodcurdling screams of "YES!!" belted back at him.

Rave Heart, a nutter and mega-fan with his own nickname tattooed on his face, well he pounced on to stage sporting a new head, I can only compare him to a tattooed biblical mad man. like Moses on crack, he was going nuts on stage half undressed, and everyone was shouting their disapproval at him as he grabbed Doghouse and chucked beer everywhere.

Then some skinny bird got up and started mopping Doghouses brow with her sleeve. As we built the tension with harder, nastier but still somehow euphoric tunes the crowd began to erupt.... Haggis fell over onto stage with his bagpipe in his mouth and balls in the air.... then two women were stripping centre stage, then they were kissing each others face off, pouring beer over each other's heads half naked. and then they fell over on stage almost cracking their heads open on my monitor speaker. the bouncer then joined in on stage and tried to calm it all down - only making matters worse as Rave Heart teased him, then the bar girl joined in, then fucknose who... then i managed to WHACK my head on a wall and was squeeling in pain.... it felt like i was in Hell, and Hell was fuckin good. Rave Heart then decided to punch some random people....... Wtf!!! beards, baps and black-eyes everywhere my head spun as the crowd from front to back were bouncing, stood on tables and wooping........What an almighty mess.

We were invited to about 43 different after parties. There were randoms hanging off us, kissing us and dragging us in all directions... Rave Heart kissed me on the face and whispered in my ear that he was getting a tattoo of my head on his left tit next week... WTF!!! We got in the van with about 16 random people trying to get in with us, Filth slammed the door in a rage nearly taking Sunday's gig promoter, Bri's fingers clean off. As we pulled off Rave Heart was in the middle of the road trying to stop us but Stevie G swerved him and we made our escape.

We headed back to promoter Mark's and got wrecked up in his flat. He looked after us well with beers and goodies fairplay to him, a great welcome and a great host. His misses and him spoke so fucking much tho..... Like no breather. Just RABBLING on in Scottish - my head was fuckin killing. all the travel, madness, beer, and volme at the gig was taking it's toll.........Ouch SHHHH shut the fuck up! Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. just kept ranting on......must be speed, gotta be. "Hemina Shema EEma moo gaa Meheh me megh unm adjajall"

I boshed half a pill to try to escape the Scottish babbling and huge headache that was beginning to take a grip. Half hour later we were in a warehouse. Loads of people and a fat soundsystem ….wicked vibe. I love the vibe in Glasgow. The people just seem bang up for it even if I cant understand a word they’re saying...

Stevie G kept gripping my coat and begging "Don't leave me" - dunno what the fuck was wrong with him so after a while me, him and Johnny walked back to the pad and crashed out for an while.... leaving Lionel to look after Doghouse who was outside hugging a billboard…. which he believed was his misses, talking to her in depth and gently fondling her.
Lost it! The alcohol, sleep deprivation and missing the love of his life had spawned a psychosis which helped along with 5 years fronting Sicknote was fingering his brain....... they all came back woke us up and off with the Scottish ranting again but this time there were loads of them..... I cannae understand a fuckin word! They were all half naked and dancing to shit music so I took a stroll into town for some food with the rest of the crew.... Then off we fucked to Kaleidoscope Festival in Fife.

image by Norris Nuvo

We arrived at a really pleasant festival full of posh hippies in tweed n shit. Very tame and nice almost the complete opposite to last night. This gig had been cancelled last week due to shit ticket sales. As we did not have a contract or fuck all we were cancelled and there was nowt we could do. We then managed to get the gig back on by agreeing to waive our 600 quid fee and play for just petrol - fuckin useless.

We got some food and beer and took in the festival, it was pissing down constantly. The main stage was in a huge barn with a fat soundsystem, it was really well put together and a great set up. i relaxed knowing that we had a good show ahead of us.....

I bolted some mud n cider and we hit the stage at 2am, suddenly realising i was completely smashed. We got the place bouncing even though I made loads of mistakes and Johnny’s lead he lent me kept cutting out, but the 500 or so happy punters bounced, there was a great vibe in the barn.....Doghouse and Filth were bang on form, Conker and Lionel had loads of space to do their freaky dancing, the visuals looked amazing on a huge screen behind us, and Stevie G was even dressed up and half on stage........ I was the weakest link, goodbye. After they prematurely announced it was to be our last tune i upped the pace by dropping RIGHTEOUS to which the place went nuts to :) twas a great gig.

Afterwards we hit a guy called Maf’s bus, a freaky festival head with a safe as fuck vibe, and necked more mud and brandy till they were completely fed up of us and kicked us out in the rain.... It was 5am, we had nowhere to go, nowhere to sleep. Me, Doghouse and Johnny found a fire and stood around while getting soaked by the relentless rain. Just before daybreak we discovered a fat Yurt a with a woodburner and cuddled up in there for some kip and almost dried off...

We headed off to Edinburgh in the soggy afternoon and Filth was on one..... Laughing his tits off and ripping the piss out of everything...... Licking my soiled pants out of my bag, calling Doghouse Grandma has he snoozed in the back, and abusing people out of the window... fucknose what he was on!
In Edinburgh we left Doghouse and Lionel asleep in the van and went off and found a pub and had a haggis and a Guinness to try and restore some energy into our saggy spirits....

At the venue, 'The Store', a small posse of nutters turned up. There were more people backstage drinking our fucking rider than were out front in the venue…

We necked a load of Stella got on the tiny stage, slammed into a banging set and the 30 people went wild!!! some geezer by the name of Sean O'Hara kept screaming out ‘E in my A Hole’..... i dug it out and as i dropped it Filth came out from behind his kit, shook up a Stella and opened it in Sean's face and squeezed the entire can into his eyes : he fucking loved it!

The bouncer, a big polish meat ball, kept trying to cut us off early, we played till he looked like he was gunna implode.. then backstage he was trying to drag us out before we even packed up. "5 minutes 5 minutes!!" he kept shouting at us, while standing in the doorway i said "well leave us alone for 5 minutes then you bellend."

We signed a load of merchandise vinyl flyers everything. then on the way out.. the bouncer gripped me and said "why you call me bellend" and looked like he was going to plant me. i shat it. i said "sorry mate" and luckily he let me go. phew.

We asked for some money and Bri told us there was fuck all money.

We got in the van I said there was no fuckin cash. Then I tried collecting the merch money from Filth and Lionel. I got a tenner. when we just signed about fucknose how many fucking vinyls. so where the fuck did the money go? Or did everyone just help themselves to the merch?

What the?

illustration by sam watterson

This is when Filth LOST it.

"Ive been telling you for fucking years to join the fucking PRS you cunts!!!”

“You need to sort your shit out you cunts!!!"

"I got a fuckin family to fuckin feed"

"You're fuckin useless the lot of you"

Screaming and clenching - looking like a strained purple adolescent bollock - he suddenly spat on Doghouse head.... wtf! Doghouse lost it back at him and the whole van descended into a shouting and balling fucking disastrous end to a blinding weekend.

We shared out the pennies.

Basically 300 from Pivo, 350 from Kaleidoscope and fuck all from Edinburgh....

normally we get 600-1k a gig plus travel.

so when you weigh up all the effort put in, 340 quids worth of petrol, then smokes, food, drink and shit..... we ended up with fuck all each. So understandable why the boys were fucked off. Ah well, lessons learned.

1. USE A FUCKING CONTRACT

2. GET A DEPOSIT

3. SORT FUCKING ACCOMMODATION BEFORE HAND

______________________________________________

I curled up in a ball with all the equipment in the boot of the new sickbus……. Woke up and i was in Cardiff . bonus. Stevie G done the entire journey and another 2 hours back to his pad in one night. What a fucking legend.

I got off at Johnnys as I fancied an early morning walk into town to get some fresh air, the sun was just squeezing a warm orange tickle onto my face as it began to rise above our homes. I popped into Johnny and Ady’s.. and get offered a cuppa for a change, got to be the first time ever!!!! I swig it down as I was thirsty, and was greeted with some fat lumps of gone off milk. They slipped down my neck like the spunk of a mammoth, i gulped in disgust....
I felt ill after a heavy weekend, the last thing i wanted to eat was gone off lumps of cow puss this morning......... I left, spued on the pavement outside and fucked off home to bed.

Another weekend of sickness has taken it's toll on my rotund, quivering, pimply fucked-up body. My mind is cracked and lost and sensitive.... Why do we do this to ourselves?

cue 3 days of sleep.

Why you should switch off facebook NOW!

2011-09-29T18:07:00.004Z

so it's been over 3 weeks since i deleted my personal profile on Facebook...

it was quite a big thing for me, as i remember being quite an early adopter of the site and was pretty alone there before all my mates turned up and then the rest of the world. It's proven to be invaluable in helping me promote the band, and we have built a solid tribe thanks to it.

So i'm not dissing it really other than it seemed to be taking up all my fucking time!! and i stopped socialising in real life and was suddenly living this life of cryptic semi-witty bullshit statements that had no real feeling or meaning. Coupled with getting cheesed off with moaning bastards and people saying things they would NEVER say in real life i decided after many years to delete my history and profile.....

AND?

well it's been great! The first week i was on holiday and didn't miss it too much... i have had a lot of confused people posting on my fan page asking why they can't get me, or message me, or i'm ignorant, or i'm selfish or piss-taking because i'm not on there anymore.... i think people are now realising i still exist and am contactable by phone and email! i sometimes feel a bit out of the loop with friends but there's other ways to get in the picture. i've also been discovering other great tools on the internet and building my own web pages and reading more books. And i've started to see people face to face a lot more and it feels great to drag your hunchbacked, saggy grey carcass away from the laptop and go and connect with the people you care about...

Today i saw some great people and got involved in some great conversations.... in particular i paid a visit to the legendary artist and all round visionary Norris Nuvo who shared with me his poem about facebook. I love it... He has given me permission to post it on my blog!!! you lucky people.... so here it is.. feel free to share it about the web but please credit him / link him up.....

enjoy........

Facebook Made me gay

I was trying to cure my sad addiction

To all the lies and egoistical fiction

That filled up my days and hampered my life

So I turned off Facebook and talked to my wife

To my joy and amazement I found my contentment

Away from the sadfucks filled with resentment

Those habitual moaners , the self righteous ‘affronted’

Who sit at computers each night and get cunted

Now The Hippies are just so elitist and trite

With their trees and lentils and mother earth shite

Droning on and on about saving whatever

Chanting their chants and thinking they’re clever.

Shove political correctness right up your arse

It don’t fool no-one, it’s just a farce

Most people are cunts but pretend they are cool

When they look in the mirror they don’t see the fool

And those cunts who pretend to ‘care’ for the poor

And the starving and homeless and those killed by war

They profess to stand for the displaced, the loser

Yet spend less on helping than they spend in the boozer.

And those poor cancer victims rolled out for pity

And the ‘one liner’ status that some cunt finds witty

The bull-shit that’s ranted about ‘how unfair’

Do these cunts think I actually care?

And the ‘ganja cures all’ folk who live in their heads

Who moan about baccy, coffee and Feds.

Virtual weed warriors, moaning ‘it’s wrong’

‘Postpone Revolution, lets do a bong’.

They call it medicine a panacea for all folk

But we all really know they just like to toke

And munch upon munchies and talk ‘Mary Jane’

And ponder and shuffle and make plans in vain.

And the Insipid sad fuckers typing away

Believing folk read the things that they say

Hundreds of ‘friends’ your ego to lick

To stop you from knowing that you are a prick

Thousands of pictures of all kinds of crap

Showing pointless people caught in the trap

Of Facebook ‘importance’ for me me me

But you have to switch of to be finally free.

Now I know I’ll lose ‘friends’ who won’t like what I’ve said

But I am not listening coz I have fucked off to bed

Norris Nuvo

www.norrisnuvo.co.uk

or hear him recite it here: (free download) Norris Nuvo - Facebook Made Me Gay by Tantrum Records

fancy remixing this?

Chris Brogan's tips on using Twitter...

2011-09-28T12:48:00.003Z

yeh, Chris done a long post that looked into various styles of twittering, really interesting to see what;s effective... check it out HERE.

or here's the breakdown:

Don’t let your account die. Delete it, if you’ve abandoned the project.
Make it about your audience.
Engagement is not the same as bragging about yourself.
The brands that act like humans get the most engagement.
Spam people at your peril

follow me here

DRINK water - it sorts you right out!!!

2011-09-27T21:03:00.001Z

i've been bobbled!

so i like to get a bit fucked at times and like to be sharp other times... but there is nothing like WATER to sort you out mentally and physically in all ways... i try to neck as much as i can in order to feel good and on the ball.... it definitley sharpens me up everytime i need to.

the cost of bottled water though is a complete joke..... especially as i like it when i'm on the road with the band.... and at service stations you can pay like £3 for a litre(!)... it's widespread knowledge that there is more profit in water than there is in petrol these days. INSANE!!!

so we discovered a brand new invention to keep these chancing rip off merchants at bay.... it's called the BOBBLE! i just bought a pink (magenta) one and it works a treat :) i love it....

there is a built in filter system which is attached to the top. when you screw it on and begin drinking... VOILA! your water is filtered.... excellent.. just fill it up from any tap and game on. the filter needs to be replaced every 3 months or so... so for 3 months of clean water.... how much?

they cost £12. with free UK postage. BARGAIN....

go and get one HERE now....
i did and it's mint :)

Mischief...

2011-09-25T10:11:00.006Z

photo by rev phil dread

been a while since we been on the road... we were picked up by Stevie G in the new SICKBUS about 2pm and we sped off thru the day towards Bognor Regis.

The van has been converted. It was the same one we all lied in the back of on the way to do the gig with Bez in Crook a few months back... but now Stevie G has had 6 seats fitted in the back. And it's fucking ace. he plans on getting it soundproofed and adding beds and a Bass Bin. bring the new sickbus ..buzzing.

so in the van we had Johnny No-Cash and his nutty misses Ady HD, Sicknote hairdresser and make-up man and full on lech Vidal Babboon (aka. Baldie aka. Lionel), Dr Conker, Mrs Conker (aka Little g), the newest dancer to the troup Sister Sheep, The Filth, and me and Stevie G.

I didnt realise but Stevie had already been driving 4 hours+ before he picked us up, due to a shit plan the other end to pick up Filth and his kit in the arse end of no-where and driving into Swansea to pick up the Sheep. With a bit of planning we can make this whole operation a lot slicker...

I was in bit of a grump, coz of recent stresses with finances and shit... so didnt say much on the way, as everyone laughed, belched and swug away.
The only thing that half cracked a smile on my chubby frowny face was a car that overtook us, with a roaring engine, and... a set of bollocks. yes. the owner had attached a set of balls to the back of his car.. fuckin wicked, i thought, the new Sickbus definitely needs a set of bollocks!!

We were greeted on the gate by none other than a spaced out stuttery, wobbly and wrecked Hobo Paul. Like a abused and dishevelled lab rat he wobbled over and declared he was Head Marhall for the festival and that there was a problem as there was another band on site already claiming to be Sicknote. We pissed ourselves and ignored him. Got our wristbands from a gurning Lou Disgrace, who was covred in eyelashes, make-up, sweat and glitter, "you better be doing a flapsandwich set this weekend", she quivvered...

Catch Pyro came over, mentioned it was his first festival he organised , Top bloke... he seemed on edge as i know i was when i was promoting big events.. which i may well be doing again REAL SOON!

The rest of the tribe showed up Flakey & Rev looking smiley, Keith It Real clutching a pint and beaming a crispy red, Doghouse and Dizzy looking like festival royalty, and Ricey, a muckr from my hometown of Brynmawr - looking like a short fat Howard Marks in full tie-die hippie outfit and a T-shrirt announcing "MARIJUANA, well AT LEAST IT AINT CRACK" - a walking talking skunk-smelling advert and prime target for the pigs i rekon(!) We all gathered behind our tiny stage and necked some beers n shit.

Ruby from Boomtown was there and lobbed us on stage with a friendly smile, a lovely stage manager, one of the best........ the stage was small but cosy. and as the festival was a bit quiet.. we played to a small hand full of people, who seemed to love it! bouncing all over the place... we were joined on stage by My Bad Sister, who had gaffa tapped up their nipples and were doing their freaky synchronised dancing routine with us.. also Gribly Grobbly the clown got on stage and and got a bit undressed..
it was the first time i tried out the new Native Instruments Traktor Audio 2 soundcard...... it kicked out the sound like it's never kicked before... to the point where we blew the fuckin monitors ending 'Benefit Cheat' a bit abrupt.

we managed to get one monitor back on, which enabled us to drop my fave, 'Righteous', to which i spied Flakey almost having an epileptic fit out front. Fingers flickering above her rapidly shaking head, hair flying everywhere and a huge knowing smile - eyes wide shut. wicked. a small mosh pit seemed to be whipping up down front... we dropped Pikey DnB and called it a day...

After the gig we checked out some Gabba and some Drum N Bass necked some cider ate a burger had a dance and i had a chat with none other than the Captain Grimace! He was happy with my Uncle Kev remix i done for him and was keen for me to remix 'Swans Are Pricks' and maybe help him with the soundtrack to his upcoming book and character launch for 'Jonny Cock-Hands'. wicked.

Stevie G sed he was up for driving back... or we'd all end up sleeping in a freezing field with no tents! so we darted off into the night. I slept most of the way and woke up in a right grump.. calling johnny and ady Dumb and Dumber.. and generally being an unsavoury cunt! i need to cheer the fuck up!

making some space...

2011-09-24T09:43:00.003Z

so, i set up a linkedin profile.
it requires you to list your current and past work / study / projects.
i'd recommend anyone who is serious about their business join up... it has helped me shape what is important to me, and put some perspective on projects i have left behind. it also has put me in touch with lots of other contacts.

so i have come to the decision to put some things behind me. i need to make space. the reason for making space? i don;t know... i still don't know... i have sold 70% of my belongings and am trying to rid the of the rest... i have also now come to the conclusion that i would like to put the lid on some of the projects i am involved with....

so... after 3 years of promoting several artists, bands, djs and producers i have decided to put an end to Tantrum Records...

this leaves me with these projects that are current

1. Sicknote (band management)
2. Tantrum Promotions (occasional music events)
3. kweej (video production)
4. wickedlove (studio)

i have also been offered to run a venue, a small nightclub in the middle of Cardiff, which i think would help me to make an income and probably be a great experience but after some thought i am fairly certain it doesn't fit in with my overall plan.

With the clear goal of getting the world to dance to a different beat... a new style.
i will be saying goodbye to Tantrum Records, and hello to more music / video production and promotion ideas.

there will be a few more releases on Tantrum in the next few weeks, including a Tommy Tank DJ set, the last few tunes on Remix Lab, Ninjah's debut album and our goodbye album COVERT SUBVERT vol. 2. which will include the likes of Slamfish, Me, Tianaman, Sicknote, Slamboree, Ratface, Vieka Plays, Pork Pie Rabbis, Foggerton , The Hot Water Bottles and some other exciting shit..... (all subject to agreement from artists)

the Tantrum Records website and soundcloud will still offer all of the 300 (approx.) songs for FREE until the end of October 2011. at this time it will self distruct. Tantrum will be no more. so go along and help yourself to everything that is there.. or wait a few days until i get the 'DOWNLOAD ENTIRE CATALOGUE' button set up.... ;)

Latest tracks by Tantrum Records

so why kill Tantrum Records?

i will write a post here soon, describing why.

Jonny Sarhanis - Champ Got Knocked Out (freaky acid remix)

2011-09-22T23:20:00.002Z

been fuckin about with my new software... Cockos REAPER as recommended by Cardiff production wizard, Slamfish... starting from scratch again... getting there.

had fun with this bellend, Jonny Sarhanis from Ton of Cash on VH1. quality...

Financial Ruin

2011-09-22T15:52:00.005Z

I seem to be quantifying everything at the moment and it's helping me get a much clearer picture as to where the fuck i am in life!!! i decided to do it on my blog as it's there for posterity. not that anyone reads this, but if anyone decideds to look a bit deeper at what i'm about they can see. so...

after getting an overview of part of my business TANTRUM RECORDS in the last post and realising its nothing but a big fat FAIL.. next up i thought i'd get a picture of my financial position down. i'm going to be completely honest and totally open here and put together ideas on how i can move forward from HERE!

where am i?

ok.

so i OWE out this:

hsbc: £6675.29

santander: £779.34

Welsh Water: £84.14

3: £367.15

Co-Op: £852.11

Egg: £2678

MBNA: £949.05

DWP: £109.90

Citi Bank: £3404.60

Council Tax: £1667

Gas / Lec: £250

_______________________

TOTAL £17,816.58

_______________________

a nice big fat debt. LOSER!!!!! most of these have been passed to debt collectors now.

how did i manage to run up such a big one? i remember the first time i got into debt was the year 2000. me and my ex Nikki had just been burgled in our lovely house in Llantrisant. She flipped out lost the plot, was really scared. i lent some money from my bank for a bond for us to move to Cardiff...

Over the next 11 years i went through several major mental collapses, life changes, experimnents, businesses, gambles, habits, travels and generally fucked up life experiences.

Much of the money i used to live on while in desperate times. headfucked times.

A lot of it was used for business ideas / fails.

And a chunk of it i got out to pull a friend out of some trouble he was in, but he never paid it back.

SO?

what do I do?

Firstly... can i pay it back?

At the moment the answer is simply NO.

my income is shit. and there is no income. (will share that shit soon) so i need a plan.

Options:

1. go Bankrupt

2. fucknose.

3. i dunno!!

help !!! HELP!!!

will write more on this soon. any ideas welcomed.

Tantrum Records STATS 2011

2011-09-20T06:09:00.006Z

is it working?

well... the goal is to spread the underground music we love around the world by offering them up for FREE with the demand to SHARE!!!
Tantrum is mainly myself and Mr Tommy Tank. Also supported by the likes of Rev Phil Dread, Norris Nuvo and other helpful people....
I have lost the plot with it lately and struggling to see if anything i am doing is still worth doing.
So here i'm going to break down the figures in the hope of coming to a decision on where to go next...

TANTRUM RECORDS 2011

Number of songs available: 270
Number of Sets / albums: 30
Plays : 37,256
Downloads: 11,084
Average plays per track: 138
Average downloads per track: 42
Most played tune: Leftfield - Phat Planet (Flapsandwich Re-Rub)
Most popular download: Tone396 vs Rebel MC - Street Tough (Tone396 Bootleg Mix)
Most popular countries: UK, China, US, Taiwan, Korea
Biggest referrers: Facebook, Tantrumrecords.net, sicknote.tv
Cost: £315 (+ a lot of time)

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
dont seem to be really working, is it?

ok. rethinking a lot of this shit right now....

any ideas welcomed

what is TANTRUM RECORDS

2011-09-19T22:42:00.002Z

yeh so we got ourselves an unlimited soundcloud account so we can upload as much tuneage as we like and offer them for FREE download (most of them) for YOU!!!!

this is the idea behind TANTRUM. to spread underground mainly bedroom produced music... across the Globe and get millions dancing and HAPPY!

thats the intention....
Originally Tantrum was Tantrum PRomotions... (gigs and shit)
it morphed into a free record label.

Everything that Tantrum has ever done has lost money. This is not good! So i'm having a rethink at the mo on the set up, structure, goals and everything related to Tantrum.

So for now... dive in and download as many of the 270 track on Tantrum as you like. 90% of them are free........

if you wanna help me cover the costs of the soundlcoud account / time / sweat / debts / loss / heartache / headfuck then click the donate button below...

Wait for NEWS on how we gunna resructure everyting in TANTRUM world to mke more sense :)

SOON!!!

thanks to everyone who has suported Tantrum Records thus far... X

Latest tracks by Tantrum Records

TIT FULL

2011-09-19T21:34:00.001Z

so after 6 and a half years of working me nuts off on Sicknote i can honestly say i am fucking FUCKED.

I seem to have finally run out of steam. After working full time on a project for so long.. and it growing steadily in everyway... no big LEAPS as such but steady growth.. i can now safely say.

I HAVE HAD A FUCKING TIT FULL.

need to find new ways to get excited again. to get motivated. or just move on.
I just dunno.

HEADSHOT.. fuckin fed up.

Frustrated.

could talk more in detail. but who really gives a fuck.

WHAT NEXT.... i've had time out. booked in studio. more gigs. tried it all. what does it need? what do i need?

i dunno.

BARRRRRGGH

sicknote photo shoot...

2011-09-16T16:25:00.006Z

Fancy a Snog?

after a few months of work, getting rid of possessions, stress, financial ruin, fallin out with many people, losing my faith in everythin im doing and generally losing the fuckin plot!!!!!... my misses whisked me off for a little break in the south of france where we chilled out to fuck last week. phones off. web off. in the fuckin pool. yeaaah babay XX :) just what the doctor ordered...

i tied in the holiday with the deleting of my personal facebook page.
i'm not sure why. i think some people were pissing me off on there. and i was spending too much time on there. and just a lot of falseness. i thought. so i thought i would try and deal with people in real life from now on. in person, on phone or email init. thats the plan. so i still manage pages on facebook. including Sicknote, Tantrum, Flapsandwich, Ninjah, Tianäman and several more. but just gunna keep it for projects I'm involved with and do all my 'socializing' in real life.

Doghouse was mortified by the news.... 1st that i was having a break (last time i had a break, 7 days in a friends house in Cornwall after busting my bollocks sorting out the Phone In Sick party.... i recieved a 900 word email from him about how much of a CUNT i am). and second that i wasnt on facebook so no one could contact me (despite having a phone and email account advertised all over Sicknote website).....

So as he did last time i had a break.. he decided to abuse me... only this time publicy.. all over my flappy fanpage..... the 1st thing i seen after 7 days of no facebook.....
This led to me phoning him up and screaming my twat off like a raging fuckin nutcase... scared the shit out of my flatmates as i plugged me phone in the kitchen and screamed my bollocks off at him saying id had a TIT FULL OF THE CUNT.

we made friends again last night and had a great chat at an impromptu Sicknote photo shoot.

There was a bit of writing sprayed on a wall we noticed just near the old Vulcan pub opposite Atrium when we were walking over Johnny NoCash's place to film Righteous a few weeks back. it read...

"AND PROZAC IS NO BANDAGE FOR THIS MUCH BLOOD"

and so we thought we would name the new sicknote CD that.

The Filth

so yesterday i belled Simon Boughton and he was up for a last minute photo shoot. but we were missing The Filth... he busy in West Wales with his new family and moving to his new house!!
we considered getting a Pork Pie from the Spar to replace him and try and locate a ginger pube from some poor fucker to slot in the pie... we couldnt be arsed so we just got some photos of the 4 of us and then headed to the pub. .

all chums. ahhhh.

Conker then began his "every straight man is a bit gay" discussion AGAIN, claiming that MDMA shows peoples true sexual desires... I said I wasn't sure bout all that bollocks, to which he reminded me that i did in fact snog a boy once on Mud.....
Then he declared that he actually snogged Donald MacDonald's dog once at Netties Shop. Said he couldnt remember if he enjoyed it or not. He didn't know which breed it was when asked, declaring he wasn't a racist. And Johnny informed us it was a Boxer... with a glint of jealousy in his beady eye.

The good Doc wobbled off under the railway bridge like a mad human shuttlecock, heading back to his Kingdom where He, house manager, calls the shots and lives rent free.

L-R: me, Johnny No-Cash, Doghouse

Me, Johnny and Doghouse then went on to Weatherspoons for a bit of bonding and a shed load of fuckin guinness..

we talked of the life we live and how we wanna show the public everything we do, everything we say, our lives... who we are.. instead of just the end product. a CD. or a video. lets fuckin let the camera's roll. you think Anvil was fucked up? wait til you see what Sicknote are REALLY like! :o
watch this space... we will video the next band meeting. (althoughtwe probably have ony managed about 5 meetings in 5 years, so don;t hold ya breath.

woke up this morning pretty fuckin hanging. photos coming next week. safe... and getting on the edit and production of the new CD this weekend ;) all happnin. safe people! X

SO FUCKIN' RIGHTEOUS

2011-08-26T02:03:00.002Z

banged this together over the last few days...

love making videos. so much fun...

music and film by me.

starring doghouse and art hooligan.

post editing johnny no-cash.

costumes ady hd.

own this song

GIVING and RECEIVING

2011-08-01T08:43:00.002Z

to keep giving is hard when you receive nothing in return...

but expect nothing back!

give in the right place and give with love and you will receive in ways you never knew existed.

you have to give because you genuinely want to help

BUT only help he who is not a blagging lazy cunt.

just be good to me.....

2011-07-26T07:03:00.002Z

always loved this tune from beats international. never tired of it, it's one of those ones. but yeh, impossible to beat the original such a classic. but i thought i'd do more of a dancefloor anthemy version to get people bopping to it at the party, coz everyone knows and loves it... but it's more dubby for early/late night... so i thought i'd try a wobbly wonky banging version to liven tings up a bit... it's all made in Reason 5 as my Ableton has completely fuckin died on me.. grr. So yeh Reason it is!! back to it... i have downloaded Reaper which i am told is amazing.. but i'll get back to you on that :) safe

Beats International - Dub Be Good To Me (Flapsandwich Re-Rub) by Tantrum Records
let me know what you think of the tune, and gimme some ideas on what to remix next ;) safe :)

spread da flaps X
j

x
x

WHERE AM I?

2011-07-19T15:32:00.001Z

i dunno, Scotland sapped me of all my energy and the finances been gettin on top and i aint stopped to be honest.. but got some fuckin great stuff to share with you just as soon as i find myself again! keep the faith. love flaps. xxx

triiiiiiiiiioooooooooooo!

2011-06-23T22:43:00.002Z

three brand new tunes i have produced this week!!!!
get stuck in...(crank it up)
enjoy!! and let me know what yu think...

Sicknote vs My Bad Sister • The Freaks Come Out by Tantrum Records
Flapsandwich vs Captain Grimace • Uncle Kev by Tantrum Records
Flapsandwich - Death Race by FLAPSANDWICH

A Solstice in Solitude...

2011-06-23T08:49:00.008Z

been a bit of a mental week. Had to close everyone out and unplug the phone and door buzzer and have one of those recluse times. Dunno if it's the solstice or what it is. Maybe missing Glasto this year? Or some other shit. i wont BORE you with any more of that!!! fucknose.

Primal Scream were absolutely fucking amazing on Monday. An intimate show, playing the entire Screamadelica album in full. Amazing how they took the work of Andrew Weatherall, and recreated it live. the vibe was amazing and Bobbie Gillespie has to be one of my favourite front-men ever. Just a proper rock star. But you can feel his love. No hogging the songs and posing. Lots of space for other parts of the music, for it all to fit together and connect with your nugget. He occasionally leaves stage and allows the woman to have a few songs. He dances loads. And connects with the crowd. Fuckin brilliant. I think i understood one of my favourite bands even more now, I totally got them. Their encore included all their rock n roll type tunes like 'Jail bird', 'Country Girl' and 'Get your Rocks Off' to which i pogoed to the very front and joined the madness. Bobbie almost fell off the monitor speaker into my face but regained his balance. A venue packed full of 90s ravers i think. All danced to a long lost beat of love and ecstasy. Was great to get transported back to a special moment in time!

Since then i locked myself away in the studio working on a tune featuring My Bad Sister and possibly Doghouse, with a sample from Cevin Fisher's amazing 'The Freaks Come Out'.Slowly coming together but I'm back to producing in Reason as my Ableton has fuckin died. Should be ready by the weekend...

Backed up all my data on my new 2TB hard drive too!! looking back at all the songs i have made, i listened to some of the very first... unfortunately the very first few have gone for ever thanks to a power surge that warped out my storage in 2003. Still bothers me to this day!!! CUNT! especially gutted about a tune called 'Rollercoaster' whish was fuckin brilliant and made on the Roland TB303 groovebox entirley. I made it in 1999 when i spent a snowy winter in a cottage in Llantrisant. Absolutely gutted to think I'll never hear it again. Help me with that!??!? Or am i just a sentiMENTAL twat. Nostalgia probably making me think it's more amazing than it really was. fucknose.

Anyway i came across a tune i had slapped together in June 2002 last night. I re-edited it and fattened up the sounds and put it together with a movie i remember my big brother showing me when i was young!!! Here you go, let us know your thoughts. Cheers

Andrew Weatherall's amazing Starpower MIX MP3

you fucking GIMP!

2011-06-18T15:39:00.003Z

forgout about this one i did a while back with Gary.... bless the pedo cunt

Tantrum DJ Mixes...

2011-06-13T14:30:00.001Z

wicked free DJ mixes... TANTRUM TESTED......quality assured... BANGING!!!

TANTRUM DJ MIXES by Tantrum Records

the top ten keywords to mention to drive more traffic to your blog

2011-06-13T01:21:00.001Z

this is an experiment..
please let us know of more effective keywords you can think of...

1. Apple Computer
2. The inherent difference between men and women
3. Ryan Giggs
4. Midget Fetish
5. Sicknote
6. Codaholic
7. Ron Paul
8. UnSecret
9. Seth Godin
10. Tesla

see what happens. If it brings more I'll let you know... if not, then whatever!!!

FLAPSANDWICH : Live

2011-06-12T12:15:00.005Z

it's all been great the last few weeks, after my excursion to Portugal with Sicknote and immediate surprise adventure to the Island of Kos a week later. Been busy as shit since: making websites, songs, doing up Tantrum HQ, interspersed with some real kicking Sicknote gigs.....
The adventure in Greece became something of a journey of the soul, completely facing up to my past with some weird goings on in a sleeping volcano which had me confronting my inner brother. my twin. he has always been with me. Tristan, he came at the critical moment, when i had tried all i could try...... He was there. And then........ more of this confusing epic another time. . I was anointed Flapsandwich The Greek God of Acid by my good friends Zeus and Poseidon, who i met after the long and arduous battle in Nisyros with the terrible beast that is Polyvotis.

ANYWAY, the complete adventure will appear on this blog soon with soundtrack.

And now... what have i got for you?

Well i just wanted to make you aware of my first ever LIVE set.... it was recorded for Feral Disco in May and you can own it now!!!! there is 3 options....

1. FREE DOWNLOAD, in one click!

click ME

2. 'PROMO' CD signed with Stickers for just £2 plus postage (only 100 available)
click ME

3. GATEFOLD ALBUM with bonus disc and booklet for £12.99 (released DECEMBER 2011)
click ME

hope you enjoy it, drop us a comment and let us know xxx

Flaps.

I'm BACK!!!

2011-06-10T22:53:00.001Z

hello!!!! i've been away since January and been posting on the Tantrum Records website.... but here i am back in the flaplands!!! safe and welcome to all who will be joining me in my new home for all flap related adventures!!!

2011-06-08T19:17:00.004Z

yo

2011-06-08T18:13:00.003Z

what;s happening?flapz ere.... just saying like.. got the NEW sicknote site goin LIVE very soon!!! which includes the brand new DOG BLOG!!!!! and tweaking the TANTRUM RECORDS site too!!!all looking good. not sure whether to post my blog on the tantrum site or here. FUCKNOSE.

Tantrum Birthday Weekender: Meeting BEZ

2011-05-30T09:30:00.001Z

last minute? yes.... 4 days i gave myself to organise the Tantrum Birthday party. well, 3. Why don't i just plan ahead? I don't know... things keep getting in the way, and i can only really do things of pressing importance. Make sense? no? i know. fucknose...

Anyway the doors opened bang on time... the projector looped our Norris Nuvo birthday video huge above the stage, which was ready to go and there sat a FAT PA hired in for the night from Crocker the Tantrum resident bass-expert. The place was draped in old school rave decor from Ian The Decorator and Nettie had added a load of birthday stuff and the place looked fucking wicked.

I was due on at 7pm, so running between the door duties and trying to play i pumped Flapsandwich (LIVE) and tested the rig. Never before had Koko Gorilaz attic sounded this banging. but were people going to turn up? Fucknose. i hope so coz i don't have a penny to pay for this set up and my landlord told me he is taking me to court if i don't cough up my £1,100 arrears by next wednesday...

A few mates were gathered on the roof-top shish garden smoking and chatting... then people started turning up... from miles away... excellent. Shaun Llewelyn took to the decks and got the vibe nice, followed by another pumping, mixer-weilding, throbbing set from producer-extraordinaire Slamfish. The place was beginning to fill up and Nettie took over door duties thank fuck.

Cosmo played a short set and set the scene with some words about the whole Tantrum thing, he then introduced Dr Conker on stage to say a few words...

http://youtu.be/DgSeE6mqXdQ

Tommy Tank spun a few fat tunes and then Sicknote took to the stage... playing a riot-inducing set which led to half the crowd trying to squeeze onto stage, off their chops, hands in the air, some almost fully naked... the place went nuts.

Audio-Hertz up next turned up the heat and brought a banging rave vibe to the dance-floor with MC N.R.G. Followed by a kicking back-to-back set from Tommy Tank and Shaun.
Happy birthday to Tantrum, Kath Allen, Sam McCallum and Shani!!!!!! xx

i stuck round for a while then we grabbed some chips and fucked off home.

after not a great night's sleep i woke up to one hell of a mission. Today was the day we were playing with Bez from the Happy Mondays .In Crook. where the fuck is Crook. well almost SCOTLAND.

it's ok i thought. Filth had booked a hire car the day before... he'll be on it i thought.....
i facebooked him, and he went off line and by the time i got hold of him it was 11.26. expecting it all to be sorted he said he had done fuck all and anyway the car-hire place closed in 30 mins, and he didn't even have the money in his bank (which he had told me he was going to do yesterday). "i was waiting for you" was his excuse.

"can't you do fuck all without me?!?!?!? i just spent 4 fuckin days organising last night,... you booked car.. cant you get the money in and pick the FUCKER UP WITH OUT ME?!?!?" i spat.
"fuck you" he wheezed as he hung up on me.

so i tried phoning back... but he wouldnt answer. i thought well, to get the money in the bank and get up to the hire place was unlikely unless we pulled our fucking finger out like NOW!! but he would not answer.
I belled Doghouse, he said, "Filthy said he won't be talked to like that from you, and now he has popped out to pick up his drums from Koko's".
I said "we got 20 minuted to sort the car or this gig is OFF and i'm fucking OUT if we fuck this one as i been looking forward to this BEZ thing for months".
then conker belled me "im not interested in doing this gig as Dog and Filth turned up at 6am with 10 people and have kept me up ever since, so fuck the cunts".
befuckingjeebus.

So i belled the car hire place, There was no car reserved. And there was no cars available. ANd filth got back to dog's way after the hire-place was closed. He didn't want to do the gig, and just wanted to go home to his misses for a cwtch. i couldn't think of any other explanation. He still wouldnt answer and Dog said he was talking of getting the bus home to his misses. Fuck this i thought.. if my band aint up for it then im fucking leaving, im fucking out. i tried loads of people i know to see if any of them could help me out, most were in bed, didnt answer or simply said fuckin NO. i was fuming. time was ticking.

Then Doghouse phoned with some news, a friend of a friend he had never met was to turn up in one hour (2.30pm) to chuck us in the back of his van and get us to the gig. "who is it?" "fucknose" I got round dogs and planted a big kiss on filthys featureless bonse as he worryingly stared at his iphone (as he has done for 3 months now). we waited, wondering who and what the fuck was gunna turn up for us, and being that the gig was a 6 hour drive and our set was 6 and half hours from now, i was worried.....

a cool geezer called Stevie Gee turned up, a short dude, sharp as a razor, a party head and air sports enthusiast... he was an older geezer and totally up for it, he seemed fuckin on it..... and had a wicked Mercedes van... with sat nav.

"right, if we going to make this gig then you need to get the fuck in the van now", he softly announced as he poked his round calm head into the living room.

OFF WE GO!!!!!!!!! Ady HD phones in to check on Johnny . Ady: "Where are you?" Johnny: "In the van" Ady: "Yes, but where?" Johnny: "In the middle"......

6 hours later we pull up in Crook AFC. to a warm welcome from promoter Vince Vega (yes) and a bunch of smiley northeners! "Shithouse!!" someone shouts, "its' Doghouse you twat" replies her mate. "fuck me its Take That" says another large orange woman dressed in what appears to be a sequinned flannel.

we get our shit together and lob it back stage. beers and chilli are thrown at our starving mal-nourished orifices and we stroll around to check out the festival. small but fucking great with 3 nice banging dance tents and the main stage which is the marquee from Thimbleberry that we played in in 2008. nice system, 15k and lots of weird and wonderful people smiling and dancing. WELCOME TO EW FEST 2011!!!

We pop up the club house so Johnny No-Cash can check out the Champions league match between Manchester and Barcelona. "Get your fucking swedes out of the fuckin way of tele!" screams some wide boy Manc from behind us... we turn round and there is Bez. wearing shades, sucking a cocktail with a few birds draped over him..
Two guys then buy me a drink as they say i look exactly like their mate.. like, EXACTLY! they keep shaking my hand and looking at me for too long, shaking their heads, chewing and gurning away, they dont wanna let me go.. i'm like their new pet.... "you look just like our mate.. he tried chopping is own leg off last weekend with a blunt machete after too many acid" ....after pointing at me and showing me off to half the clubhouse and getting photos of themselves with me i finally escape.

We get on stage, the first gig up north in a some time. And bang... we are on form, it's all clicking. Conker enters stage left and the place goes nuts. all people from all tents and the clubhouse, including security, soundmen, bouncers, bands, Vince are now bopping as we smash our way throught a banging set... with, for a change, just CONKER dancing on stage...

theres something much more powerful about our stage show when the stage isn't covered in people dressed up and all fighting for attention..
The power of Johnny's visuals with The Filth sat below smashing away on his kit. me and Johnny either side- the techno-geeks. and then Doghouse up front delivering his manic message with his eyes closed sweat dripping from his head. and then Conker next to him miming out his fucked up interpretation of the BOLT of techno / punk that blurts throughout this tent and fills the air with hedonism and chaos.

Last song, 'Righteous'. my new favourite. and there he is, Bez. dancing on stage. shame he brought about 20 people with him as i wanted to see him and Conker either side of Doghouse going for it.. but still, the place went nuts and the stage was rammed.. I had to hold my laptop in the air as my stand was bouncing like fuck and i thought for a minute the whole entire stage was going to collapse.....

we headed back to Rave Heart's house for a little party.... you know him? well he is probably the most insane fan we have ever attracted.. I've never understood one word he has said...i think he's a geordie.. but i can'ae be sure... the guy's fucking nuts...he needs his own story in itself, which i believe Doghouse is going write up on the brand new 'DOG BLOG' due in a week or two... i'll link you up ;)

Stevie Gee gets us back home and tucked up in bed by the next afternoon.
This was a great weekend.

Next up? Worcester Friday and Aberaeron Saturday!

Tantrum is 5

2011-05-27T09:29:00.001Z

after our first big FREE PARTY in 2006 we have been consistently pushing to spread good underground REAL music and put on FAT parties for the tribe!!!

TANTRUM brought you the Blowout Festival, Summer Sundaze, Coal Ex Closing Party, Tantrum in the Park, Free4all, Big Toe's Leaving Party, Get Well Soon Party, Tantrum Allnighter, Only 1 Free Party, The Crystal Ship, Mi Casa, Paranoid, Live Wire, Moist, Tune Tunnel and many other parties over the years... ..

TANTRUM have also looked after The Physicists, Ninjah, CTRL Freq, DumBass, Clay Statues, Sicknote, DJ Tommy Tank, Pork Pie Rabbis, Flapsandwich, Tianaman, Foggerton, Botoxx, Whistling Biscuits and the popular Remix Lab.

Is there a NEED for TANTRUM?

yes..... the charts is full of non-descript music that no-one knows. the masses have sad and varied music collections based what is pushed out there.... squeaky clean soulless 'eclectic' music delivered straight to their ipod by slick corporate marketing......

Tantrum is REAL. Everyone feels like they are involved in the early stages of a MOVEMENT... that although is small.... the power is undeniable.... its a secret, it's ours, it's got it's roots based in punk but with all the euphoria of the rave scene...... this is our SECRET.

people LOVE the sense of belonging that TANTRUM is providing... the friendliness, the TRIBE feel.... the community... the world wide web of freaks are uniting.... HERE. and we are ALL sharing increbile and mind blowing music with the message we all been waiting to hear::::

FUCK STRESS.
FUCK DEPRESSION.
FUCK THE SHIT WE HATE.
FUCK IT ALL.....
we are lost. LETS BE LOST TOGETHER...

and CELEBRATE this short time we have on this planet instead of conforming to the possible stresses and bullshit that is forced upon us when we play the game that is set out b4 us,... FuCK THAT... we are talking rejoicing in the molecules we have been gifted with..

CELEBRATE YOUR WRONG BITS.

DO WHAT YOU LOVE.

CONNECT WITH YOUR TRIBE.

HELP EACH OTHER.

yes.
we, the FREAKs need this connection now MORE THAN EVER in a impersonal and crowded world where we lose our identity through too much choice.... here is the answer.

COME WITH US.......
we is going one way and we aint coming back.

join us tonight in CARDIFF for our 5th BIRTHDAY PARTY

wild wild west...

2011-05-23T09:22:00.000Z

shambles since dickie left us

mel on

late.

arrive.

mountain people.

smashed it.

stoners n freeks.

kicked out of hotel. on the street homeless.

3 stoners kicked fuck out of a phone box.

back to mels car. jonny in tents.

watched akira and got a bit wasted.

ambers house. aber.

cunt.

gig. fat. disaster.. but banging..
broken lead and a dog with speed psychosis...

got kicked out of hospitality tent. elitist cunts, not the way to treat us, rare one!
probabaly coz we drunk the scratch perverts rider in Noz.
and Fuods tonight.

partied all night. slept in a micra with keith and a friend. feet hangin out of the boot.

sunday trollied lovely sunday morning hapy bday mel on.

fucked off home with the dread and flake..

tara .

back in aberaeron for one lst party til after the summer x

catch you then bitches.

REAL : LIVE : FERAL FLAPS

2011-05-07T09:18:00.000Z

i have finally worked out how to play LIVE in the mix with my own tunes!!!

All tunes in the new LIVE mix are made by me and were mixed and rubbed LIVE in my bedroom yesterday (6th May 2011) as a warm up for my debut performance at Feral Disco last night....

here is the LIVE mix FREE to download, share, play, blast from the rooftops, stick on ya ipod, send to ya friends, and smash your nut against a wall to... (thanks to Norris Nuvo for the art work)

Flapsandwich • Feral Disco by Tantrum Records

IT all went tit's up at the venue, Floyds, after we were first invaded by 100 chavs who wedged themselves in the venue making it impossible for us to set up at the start of the night. After the orange biceps and ironed haired freaks fucked off we set up our set up. Which was a mission due to half of the venue's equipment missing, which resulted in me getting soaked in the rain and making fucknose how many journeys to get it on.... only to be told when we got it going to TURN IT OFF. why? fucknose... something to do with the council. ffs. so we packed up.
What a complete fucking shambles.

Luckily Netty offered us to go to the infamous Fancy Dress Shop and do the show... this place was the breeding ground for the birth of Sicknote and so serendipity stepped in and sent me where i should have planned the DEBUT gig all along....
so we headed over there set up and i played the DEBUT FLAPSANDWICH LIVE SET!!! seemed to go quite well, sound was a bit shit and it was about 783degrees in there and Netty was charging us £39 per carefully measured droplet of Rum. i stuck round after the set for a while and had some nice chats... but looking how MUNTED the people were made me feel like i didnt wanna be munted as i feel like i've just pieced it all back together from Portugal (which is another story). Just.

So we fucked off home and stayed up til sunrise laughing :)

48 hours

2011-02-22T09:17:00.000Z

normally i try to write up a blog for the adventures with sicknote, but considering we just got a camera here at HQ i thought that we would try and capture it........
So, here it is: 48hours with sicknote!!!

Sicknote BRIGHTON debut

2011-01-24T09:14:00.007Z

Doghouse at the squat

The phone rang on Thursday night and it was Jo the excited promoter, for our big Brighton debut in a squat tomorrow night... he was banging on about a 15k rig and how he needed to know our tech spec so it was all in place... i said as long as your sound man knows what he's doing we can go with just a line-check...

Then i phone Dickie Balboa, the Bosshog and sicknote driver, i had heard he was pissed off and fed up, and that he had had a titful of us cunts. He said upon answering, "I want out."
I listed to his reasons and couldnt really argue with any of them
-waiting round for fucking hours for the band to stop partying after gigs
-being ignored when he phoned ready to leave
-arguments over cash
-too old for it all
-cost of the sickmobile was crippling him
-wanted to get back into his own art
-just had enuff
-given from the bottom of his heart for years-need his time from himself
etc.

Dickie Balboa and Johnny No-Cash loved each other

He said he would take us one last time so as to not leave us in the shit.

I got up early, hired a motor and texted Dickie: "all sorted Balb, I love you."
We got in the car, tunes pumping and flew to Brighton in no time

WE laughed at each others hairstyles, then Doghouse tried to tell me to answer my phone and i told him to FUCK OFF, the we drove up and down the same road about 14 times until we found it......
We walked in to the squat and was greeted by Jo, he showed us to the gig room:
we stepped inside and there were 5 crusties, a dog, a mad man jumping around with his top off and a PA that looked like it was set up for a karoke in your local pub...
WHat...... THE........ fuck.

a friendly bunch brought us food and made us feel comfortable...
slowly the place rammed out with anarchist punks, young chavs, old acid casualties and big sweaty dogs.
before we knew it we couldn't move, rammed. people fallin over each other all over the place

I got friendly with the sound man, and he seemed to have the soundsystem tuned to it's finest for a while, which made me think we might just be able to pull this one off....

Big heavy anarcho-punk bands slammed out their sets to a massive mosh pit, spitting cider all over each other just below a collapsed ceiling with bare wires hanging out of it....the atmosphere roared and stunk. Their big amps made it possible for them to sound pretty fucking mean, and only the vocals were coming through the actual PA, i'm thinking i gotta pump my tunes through this vocal PA after this, we have no amps.... oohhhhhh fuck.

the buzz is huge for our Brighton debut, and i'm thinking this is fucked.
I look over and our only hope of pulling this off, Jamie the soundman, was clinging on to a mic stand, with a can of special brew in his hand, eyes in the back of his head...... and then............... BANG he fell off the stage onto the dance floor and was struggling to escape what looked like a black hole, no mind a k-hole.... "OH SHIT"
Jamie - The Sound Man

The Autonomads took to the stage and performed their Ska routine, and got the place bumping....
our good friend and London DJ, Sugarlump turned up with a bag full of t-shirts for the band, and a nice fLapSANDwitch one for me, wicked,.. he took one look at the PA and said "You're Fucked!"
Louise Disgrace turned up with a friend but i think i was too worried to even be slightly sociable...

So, we took to stage. At this point the soundman was collapsed over the Amps balancing his body on one toe and licking the back of the amp, which incidentally was connected to the speaker leads with a Kit-Kat wrapper.... i shit you not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Doghouse had managed to rope in a friend and sound engineer to try and make sense of the complete fucking disaster.... he managed to get us on.... we kicked off with Ectoplasmic and the place went fucking mental....
people jumping, and moshing and screaming, various nutters were grabbing the mic shouting "God Save the Queeeeen" or "Squatting is finished" ... people were falling onto the stage... then we dropped Burden and BANG! the right hand speaker blew up!!! we carried on, the crowd a sea of fucking insanity spilling onto the stage..... i looked behind me at our munted engineer, he was now turnin all the knobs on the desk and amps, with his eyes shut tight and toungue hanging out.....

then BOOF, fuck all.... we were cut off completely... people were screaming.... i dragged the soundman off stage and half way across doghouse belted through his megaphone:"Ladies and Gentlemen, The Sound Man!!!" i held him up and the crowd screamed their appreciation......

a friendly topless lad grabbed my hand from the mental crowd and shouted "FUCK IT MATE, Dont stress!! we fucking love you!!!! i came from manchester for you's and i fucking love it!"

Dog's mate managed to get the soundsystem to come back on in the one speaker... we blasted out Pikey Drum n Bass, probably the worst we have ever sounded, the place went nuts, half way through BANG!!! game over... there was fuck all left of it.

we chilled for half hour but i was so fucking knackered.....
we got in the motor and i sped back to Cardiff, toe to the metal, tunes pumping nice, listened to The Holy Trinity EP and was fucking chuffed with it, not listened in a while......
with a fat moon in hung in the sky guiding us to our humble homeland, a wicked track from Hank Williams III caressed our echoey heads... "3 shades of Black..." - we decided this was to be the opener track for future sicknote show to bring us on stage... what a tune.... it was about 8am, i chucked the keys to The Filth and headed to my pad, i spoke to my lady on her way to work and collapsed into bed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrKnb996nF4

DICKIE BALBOA RIP
WE LOVE YOU AND THANK YOU FOR THE GOOD TIMES

celebrating our wrong bits in brum

2011-01-12T09:10:00.000Z

so we were all set to go for our first gig of 2011, i had two belting new loops loaded up and couldn't wait to drop 'em tonight.. it was Dr Wrong's lady's birthday... and things get very messy when he's in control of things!!

i had sorted a lift for Rev and Flake which had fallen through last minute, but no-one bothered to tell me. So after finding out literally a couple of hours before we left, La Joie showed massive generosity and offered me the car to take the lovely fuckers to the gig as it would be the last gig before The Rev goes in for his big op.

There was a spare seat as La Joie was still recovering from last week's lurgy...

So we were flying up the M5 tunes pumping, Sat Nav nagging, Phil mumbling, Flake apologising and Katya scaring the shit out me at random intervals cackling at 4000db.

The venue was a pub in the middle of a scabby looking trading estate. The first room was an old school pub with open fire and old men drinking smelly ale. There was a stage in the garden with heaters and a pumping system, a gaggle of crusties swiggin cider, Dr Wrong's massive demented grin poked me in the eye and Graham Sugarlump hugged me while bopping behind the deck's.

Mrs Megan Wrong - Birthday Girl:
Wicked people, wicked set up. Gayface was there with his crew and threw me a beer. Safe!

After a while i wandered round and found Shuddervision Soundsystem had a room upstairs.. with main man Digits McPhee dropping some seriously fat tunes i let the bass warm me up in that room for a while. I met a load of Spartacus' Sikh bodybuilding guido-friends, and we named them 'Sikhnote'. Nice blokes, bit mental.

Live music from Headgames and Stiff joints got people bopping and wicked DJ Graham Sugarlump kept it jumping inbetween.
I necked loadsa cococola as the caffiene keeps me awake and after about 3 pints i'm buzzin n twitchin' like a chubby Wilco Jonhson as we take to the stage...

we smash the fuck out of it, 'benefit cheat' - nailed it for the 1st time, and the two new ones souding fecking FAT... especially 'Righteous' probably my fave Sicknote tune now...
think The Rev captured it on video.. but he's in for the op now, so we might not see that 1 for a while.

The crowd bounce like fuck and a spannered Kat wanders on to stage with a pint spilling all over the place looking like a lost baby t-rex. she comes over to me with the sad pouty face and beers flying all over me laptop, completely oblivious where she is.......... "FUCK OFF!" i scream in her face.....
she trots off and dances directly in front of Doghouse so no one in the crowd can see him, least of all the guy with the HD camera!!! then she hits the deck.
Four times she kisses the deck and get's back up, i grab a sweaty Spartacus-in-a-dress and tell him if he calls himself Sickurity then get her off the fucking stage.
Done my box in. BANNED, lionel last week, Kat this week.

The place went nuts, and we played an encore of 3 tunes.
Philo Deranged screamed PIKEY at me and so we finished with Pikey Drum n Bass which seemed apt....

I got off stage, went to the car and some cunt had put the window through and nicked my ipod shuffle, Kat's sat nav and jill's monster munch. fucking gutted. the back passenger window was completely shattered. cunts. i was fucking fuming...

Dickie Balb helped me patch up the window. Katya had lostALL of her stuff and was now missing. Gayface had sent word she was safe with him. We fucked off home, with Flakey's ipod plugged in treating us to some lovely wobbly bassed tunes, just the way she likes it. My anger disolved in the comfort that some fucker was dancing to my tunes on my ipod out there, and so what, a piece of glass, worse things have happened..... i Popped in theirs for a cuppa about 5 or 6am, then went to sort da window, got to bed in the afternoon....

Mission Accomplished. Slept like a dog.

It's tuesday now, Kat got back safe, Dickie fucked off without the boys again, and Filth is home, but i think Doghouse and Johnny are stil up there loving the attention and getting trollied. ahah. I'll wait for the call in a few days when they're all depressed and skint. ahahahahaaaaa

SAFE!!

next up>>>>>
SMASH THE EDO massive gig in BRIGHTON>>
21st January
info to follow

ooooh, just had a message off Phil, he's waiting for a hospital bed, they gunna phone him, keeping him hanging there and stressed bunch of shit... in the meantime he uploaded the first play of 'righteous'.. not the best sound.. but gives you an idea where we goin with this one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-ptGPSZcaw

1st ever Sicknote gig

2011-01-11T09:07:00.002Z

Sicknote ● First Diagnosis by Tantrum Records

an introduction from Doghouse:

"After a few brief meetings in Whitchurch Hospital and Netties Fancy Dress Shop, on the 14th of March 2005 Johan Flapsandwich and Doghouse bumped into each other and had a pint at The Hawaiian on City Road, Cardiff.

Doghouse mentioned that he'd performed the night before at Jacuzzi Junta, at Chapter Arts Centre - improvising lyrics over some electronic backing.

Although the crowd had been indifferent, he was keen to get back into performing with his voice; in fact he'd bought a mic two years ago with this in mind, but none of the local musicians took him seriously. Johan expressed surprise, not realising that Doghouse was a vocalist, and told him that he made music and maybe they should get together sometime for a jam. Doghouse went home that night excited, and the next day told his partner everything. She suggested he give Johan a ring, and just at that moment the phone rang. It was Mr. Flapsandwich himself suggesting they get together that afternoon.

Doghouse bought a bottle of wine and went round there to be played some of the tunes Johan had been creating. The chemistry was there instantly and Doghouse ran home to get his mic. The afternoon was spent jamming and a definite sound was formed. The buzz was overwhelming.

Three days later they were asked to play live at The Old Howardian Club, Clifton Street, Cardiff.

The gig was recorded live from the mixing desk onto mini disc. The three tunes captured represent Sicknote at their most minimal; Flapsandwich at the controls and Doghouse oozing stream of consciousness meanderings. The audience stayed well away from the spectacle, tapping their feet in unison, their backs against the wall, but Sicknote were born and there was no going back.

Enjoy.
Doghouse
X"

Mass Data-Loss, The Tantrum Dance and a Breakfast Fit for a Dog.....

2011-01-09T07:35:00.007Z

so this website is coming together fookin' lovely, well happy with it. been uploading most of the archive to the music tab, click up there^ and you can get lods of FREE tantrum records music for download, including The Physicists, Sicknote, Foggerton, Tommy Tank, dumBass and loads more........also got the 3 remix lab albums for free too, just look around and help yourself!!!! look out for brand new tantrum stuff next month too!!!so today i went for brekky with doghouse at the lovely (but toiletless) Servini's...

yesterday he lost the plot on me about all these things that were doing his head in with Sicknote and i was like ok, let's meet and express ya concerns, but none of them come out over breakfast. hungover. we made some pretty sick plans and ideas tho, should meet more often i think.
-I came back to HQ and discovered my back up hard-drive for all of 2010's work has indeed died. after i tripped over it's wire and sent it flying across my room, i been too scared to plug it in, but i did today and yip... it's all gone.. the lot. KAPUT. so my head is in the shed about that one.. but what can i do? Just need to move on... and keep creating... and not think of all that shit i just lost :o Fookinell :/ gutted.
So i made the Tantrum Dance video then, with the backing track from my Gay Bar Re-Rub... with footage from an actual 1960s dance called the Tantrum Dance!!!
Trying to embed it in the sidebar of my website over there>>>> but can't seem to get it to work.. ah well, here tis:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A417_S1AaFE
Next up, i have promised Eggy of Dapper FM a remix of Leftfield's Phat Planet by tomorrow for his show at 8pm, and Filth has jsut booked the jam room for Sicknote to learn Benefit Cheat tomorrow at 1pm.....
so i need to get on it now... I'm about half way... so back to it, i'll post the remix up here tomorrow after his show..but be sure to tune in.
beef.laters

flap planet

2011-01-07T09:05:00.005Z

so, while chilling with 'egg for breakfast' over christmas, he dedicated the massive Phat Planet by Leftfield to me live on his show on Dapper FM.
Chuffed i was, so i offered to do a re-rub exclusively for his show...
tonight it's AIRED after 8pm!!! so TUNE THE FUCK IN!!!!!

after he's dropped it a link will appear here for 100 people to donwload it::::
Flappy vs Leftfield - Obese Planet [100 Free Downloads] by FLAPSANDWICH

______________________________________________________

it's been a great day here at Tantrum HQ, i woke up after a late one last night of producing some of the fattest tunes yet to be known by humankind!!!!
i set up my chunky Yamaha speakers either side of my bed yesterday afternoon and spent 12 hours smashin the shit out of them from the comfort of me bed. heaven.
Leftfield's re-rub was born as was a new Sicknote tune (working title - 'Who Put The Lie In Belief')....

i got a few hours kip then was woken by my flat mate slamming the fuck out of the doors, usual drill.

I put some touches to the tune and then headed off down Cardiff Bay to meet Steve Sub. We popped in Bar Salt and had Eggs Benedict and a coffee and chatted about plans for 2011 in Sub and Tantrum world... We got a bit excited about a few possible common goals, most notably a new Cardiff venue.... (WATCH THIS SPACE)

i then headed off down MUSIC BOX rehearsal rooms, not realising quite how fucking far it was. I got totally drenched on my hike and arrived pretty late, but still before Doghouse and The Filth.

We set up and blasted the fuck out of 'Benefit Cheat', just to nail the drum sections and vocal chants. Then we jammed on the new one... i asked Dog to spit about his head state concerning his personal problems and to get evil about what he hates.
Fucking Banging. this new tune is my favourite Sicknote tune at the mo, and is much more dark and serious than anything we have ever done... buzzing i was. Hairs standing up and just excited to drop the fucker tomorrow night live at Celebrate Your Wrong Bits in Birmingham!!!! WOOOP!

we headed to Dog's, ordered a Sicknote drum skin cover for Filth.

Who was sat there? Dr Conker! looking fucking gorgeous. He is back from the other dimension and we are talking of his return. Fat plan's are afoot.
The reverend and the Flake turned up with some sick goods for tomorrow's gig.

I ran home met Johnny for a cuppa tea, mastered Phat Planet, sent it to the Egg and now i'm having a well deserved break.

Don't forget tune in to Eggy's Show at 8pm tonight on DAPPER FM.

safe. sorry about the rant.. just thought i's share my excitement with ya'll

ciao for now brown cow

Club Neurotica 2010 / 2011 NYE

2011-01-03T07:33:00.003Z

after an amazing christmas time, i leave the lovely Lajoie in bed with the lurgi, crying, gutted she can't celebrate the new year....

i head home and chill with ninjah for a while.

dickie balboa turns up, and off we go. there's a WAG in the car!!! Miss Furry Muff, it's against the rules, but we let Dog off cos he just got her back and he has never looked so happy.

I'm thinking about things in a weird wonky way, head not in the right place...but fuck it i won't bore you with the details...

After a few hours bouncing round in the car talking total bollocks we arrive at the warehouse in Shoreditch, and what a fucking venue! 1500 capacity, four fat rooms... we find the live room and catch a smiley Mr Dave Skelcey, the main man.

The tribe start to turn up, and everyone is hugging me more than usual and someone jibbers, "you're such a people person" - think they taking the piss coz i aint hardly seen spoke to a soul since the last gig 3 weeks ago(!)

We chill back stage, behind the speakers, separated by a bit of cloth, it is fucking LOUD as fuck.. and pretty small, and uncomfortable. not ideal.

everyone gets a bit wobbly and then what the fuck's this? It's a line dancing band, live on stage... fucknose?!!!??! we slap our thighs and bosch more shite/....Midnight strikes to mark the end of my favourite year ever. I grab Dickie and plant my quivery crusty lips on his unsuspecting beefy chops.

the warehouse fills up with weird and wonderful smiley people.Some weird force seems to grip the tribe and force all their smiles upside down... summink is wayward...

coocoo what gwan

A burlesque dancer takes to the stage as our warm up act, and Johnny No-Cash is standing behind the stage watching her, he leans over to a guy and says... "What the fuck is that fat bird doing on stage?" and the guy replies, "Thats my girlfriend."

How to Win Friends and Influence People Part 2 by Johnny No-Cash will be available on Tantrum Books in the summer.

Finally we are called to the stage....

WE play a blinder only spoiled by a few helmets on stage, and the prize peni Lionel Rich Tea who spills my entire can of cider all over my table so my laptop is fucking dripping mid-set and manages to dance in front of doghouse for the rest of the set. hmpf.

i drop the new 'snowing' drum n bass track i made in bed a while back and it's lush to see the place go nuts.. fuckin loves it..

Flake gets a bit wonky and the tribe leave straight after the gig. A few weird fish throw some sweets and shrooms into our desperate brandy filled jowells, Filthy strolls off to a doorway area where hundreds of people are passing and mongs out....

i visit a few odd levels and before we know it we are all monged and the sun is up and no-one really knows what the fuck is going on. Well, I dont thats for surecoocoo

we leave thru a back door, and i lob myself in the naughty seat so i don't have to communicate. as i'm incapable. several huors later i'm launched into a bustop full of shoppers in a busy street in Cardiff, with my trousers round my arse and a bottle of god knows what under my arm, my hunch back has sprouted again, and i drag my pathetic carcass across the gloomy afternoon city...

i launch the bottle into the nearest bin, and i'm busting for a toilet...I make it to my front door, piss all over it, crawl upstairs and collapse in a heap.

a two day complete mental breakdown follows.

TANTRUM TV's TOP TEN OF TWENTY TEN!

2010-12-30T03:09:00.013Z

that's a bloody mouthful!!!
anyway here are the videos with the MOST VIEWS on our little TV CHANNEL for Tantrum Records 2010... counting down from number 10.........

10. Tianäman - Breathe
After years of jamming in the bedroom and screaming their tits off, twatted on whiskey, Tianäman got over their exes, calmed down one night and actually made a song. This was it. Breathe. A fucking anthem. coupled with a fucking amazing video from genious editors 'Club f00t' and this was a fucking winner in 2010.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SfMQGf8AN4

9. Benefit Cheat (taster)
A little taster video for the new single 'Benefit Cheat' by sicknote set to some of the london riots of winter 2010 whet the appetite of the sickies and was shared all over facebollock. The video was made to promote the new T-shirt and MP3 but became a viral little number within itself. The wages are lousy, but the hours are GREAT!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSXk_wpmiNU

8. Electric Humans at Arcadia, Glastonbury
Everyone who was at Arcadia in Glastonbury in 2010 shat themselves when these two nutters came out and started firing real fucking bolts of lightning at each other just metres away from the crowd and without any fucking insurance. FUCKING NUTTERS. was quite an amazing sight. Don't miss this area of Glasto 2011, they are pushing boundaries in every way possible. Fucking Ace!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onxCmYxvauQ

7. Micky Slim & Nom De Strip vs. Virus Syndicate - Skank Out (flapsandwich re-rub)
A remix competition from Bombsquad Records and Chew The Fat got Flapsandwich a bit excited and so with the stems for Micky Slim's forthcoming single 'SKANK OUT', he went to work. He come up with this ridiculous tune and banged together a daft video. Competition winner day came, and there was no announcement. We emailed them. no reply. Then the single was never released. No reply. Nothing. FUCK NOSE. Only thing we can think is Flaps scared them by pissing all over the original(!) No idea. If anyone knows the original or can get it please send it over to info@tantrumrecords.net !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQ25Yn2hKkQ

6. Cuntflaps
Carol Vorderman looks quietly chuffed when CUNTFLAPS popped up on the board, Richard Whitely would be turning in his grave if he knew we nicked the whole debacle and used it as an advert for Flappy's webshite. Keeps getting shit loads of hits this one. probably cos it's called 'cuntflaps'.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRVrCZqBvoM

5. Ninjah - Do The Shaky Hand Man
The Bin Basher and cardiff street celebrity Ninjah got every man questioning their sexuality at the beginning of the year when this video flopped into reality.
It was a tribute to another Cardiff legend, The Shaky Hand Man, who had been squashed by a bus on City Road a few months previously. Also featured lumpy sicknote fingerer, Sparticus and his queer pussy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tchNGXAbiI4

4. Doktor Conker exorcism
The mysterious disappearance of Dr Conker in the middle of the festival season left Sicknote a bit lost and confused. Last seen in a drug-addled heap on a pavement near his house with his kilt round his neck, and balls in a twist, the good Doctor has not been to a gig since. Many conspiracy theorists have mused about his whereabouts and thousands of the Doktors fans have been mourning this tragic loss. A video of an exorcism he performed on himself in Glastonbury a few years back became a unsuspecting hit this year.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bI3RMu5BOmY

3. Sex Pistols - God Save The Queen (Leftfield Remix)
Who could possibly make the Sex Pistols work on a dancefloor? Anyone? Pretty fucking unlikely we thought. until this gem from Leftfield popped up, originally released as a B side on the 25th anniversary of the original in 2002, it kind of slipped under the radar, so we uploaded it to youtube it's back in our lugholes and we just can't get enough.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpkkW_heG3g

2. The Best Cry Ever
Some shit American reality TV show called 'Intervention' got crack-head Father and gimpboy Son together for a chat and spawned one of the funniest clips we have ever seen. This cheered us up so much that we uploaded it to the TV channel and play it ever day at Tantrum HQ -just to get us feeling fucking good for the day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ff9KzGg3Fxc

1. Sicknote - Ring Ya Dad
At Nozstock Festival in the boiling hot summer of 2010 Rev Dread got out his little camera and caught a few shots of some festy munters and some of what seemed to be Doghouse of Sicknote hoovering up the fucking festival site. WTF? Fucknose. Anyway, after the festy we banged together a munter edit, uploaded this little gem and it went a bit fucking viral - making this TANTRUM TV's most watched video of 2010! We especially love the happy chubby munter at the end.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vr8TZWwPs4g

Happy New Year, have a great 2011!!!!!!!!!!
Subscribe and enjoy our videos on youtube,
CLICK HERE.

HOW MUCH DO MUSIC ARTISTS EARN ONLINE?

2010-12-29T13:03:00.001Z

How much money do musicians really get paid in this new digital marketplace?

Information gather from: information is beautiful

Sicknote - Benefit Cheat (taster)

2010-12-06T01:00:00.001Z

the 2 most important questions in the universe

2010-10-13T17:28:00.000Z

(according to Chris guillebeau)

1. What do you really wnat to get out of life?

2. What can you offer the world no one else can?

ok, well? can you answer them? go for it! i'll try now...

1. um......

Flapsandwich vs Electric Six - Gay Bar

2010-10-13T15:54:00.002Z

Flapsandwich vs Electric Six - Gay Bar by FLAPSANDWICH

It's such a perfect day

2010-10-13T15:13:00.000Z

I am woken up by La Joie kissing me with her beautiful wet mouth and rubbing her stunning hands over me. We kiss and make love til the sun peeps through the slats and let's us know it's another stunning day out there. We put on our gowns and sit on the veranda, bird's tweet and the sun warms us. We feast on a huge breakfast of eggs and toast and spreads and cereal and fruit and tea. we take our time, and laugh and kiss a lot.

She leaves for work at La Coco and i head off to the nursery for my daily 3 hours. At lunch we meet up in the village and talk and eat and drink and relax.
I head back to the studio and put the finishing touches to my Polysics remix, for the b-side of the next single. I check my bank on-line and the payment just cleared for my fat re-rub of Primal Scream, sweet as, that's 20k for a coupla days work. Nicely.

We meet back up at the pad, watch Spinal Tap, and drink a vino. The taxi is outside beeping, i kiss Mdme and head off for my flight to Berlin for Sicknote's headline slot tonight at Sven Vath's infamous club night, Cacoon.

Happy days.

How Sicknote created a 50,000 strong sick army

2010-09-06T18:32:00.012Z

well it was easy lemme break it down:

1. Doghouse and Flapsandwich got to know each other during a long visit to Whitchurch Psychiatric hospital in 2005, it was here that the masterplan was hatched.

2. one night whilst partying at Netties legendary Fancy Dress Shop in Splott, they carefully picked the freakiest freaks of all the freaks that were there that night and formed the band 'Vitreous Humour'

3. After playing a few gigs without discussing what the hell they were gunna do, they changed their name live on stage at Cardiff Ice Rink, after realising that not even themselves could remember their name. Sicknote was born.

4. after refusing to rehearse and making 'In the moment' their stage ethos, and 'If you make a mistake, repeat it' they somehow fused hedonism punk and rave like it was always meant to be. the band busted some gigs in their home town and a boat party for Blair in London, which was covered by BBC news.

5. The Festival circuit was destroyed over the next few summers.

6. more freaks joined the exciting movement. attracted by the freaks on stage, who always encouraged the freaks to be part of the show,.. blurring the boudaries between band and audience and almost making the crowd more important than the band itself.

7. the freaks danced and rejoiced in the streets and in the fields.

8. the freaks wore the symbols with pride

9. the freaks said :FUCK WORk: there's more to life than being a slave

10. the freaks told their friends.

11. the world got sick.

X

this blog post has now been transformed into a Norris Nuvo comic!!! a free e-comic!!! go get it HERE

SiCKNoTe - PHONE IN SICK (2010)

2010-09-01T01:23:00.000Z

DEATH BEFORE ENJOYMENT...

2010-08-31T08:31:00.007Z

'The monkey and the gorillas'.....

so i hopped in the sickmobile with my new massive hair do and Smaragda snuggly asleep on my back... feeing good.

Johnny No-Cash and Dickie Balboa were in the front joking about my Marge Simpson hair do and i was calling them cunts. We picked up Doghouse, who took ages to come out of the house, and slotted himself in the motor with a bottle of vino and a smug grin.... think he may have got his end away last night, or was it dole day?

On the way to pick up The Filth we passed him walking down the street, screaming "KINNOCK!!!!" "CUNT!" "GAY! " at him as we drove past. he caught us up and lobbed in the drum kit and off we headed to Swansea for our return to the Monkey Bar for WONKA VISION!!!!

"Get back on the drumkit you CUNT!"

we arrived early had a few beers and sound checked.. Crocker, our trusty bass goliath and sound man extraordinaire turned up as planned, we were in safe hands.

the Tribe arrived and everyone was in good spirits, a crate of bevvies were thrown at us by the main man Mr Fish and all was good... unfortunatley tho tonight i was DES. i was driving Tommy Tank and Ms Lajoie home. When the fuck did i agree to this, or more to the point, WHY!!!!

Our photographer and tribesman Rev Phil Dread walked over the stage at one point and caught a mic cable on his foot and apologized to the sound man down the Mic, to be replied with a flurry of abuse about how he might have FUCKED UP the entire gig(!)

Rev headed over to him a while later to apologize and the same soundman just told him to fuck off, and was a rude bastard to him. Worra cunt.

Anyway! Tommy Tank played a blinder and warmed every fucker up with some nice hard chunky beats.. the place was bouncing.....

then we got on stage and i thought i'd kick off with 'Wrong'....

the repetitive muted guitar stroke repeating for ages and the atmosphere built, the room packed out.. and people were screaming.

bang, dropped it and instant mosh pit!! hand in the air people jumping - kicking.

Loads of girls got on stage and joined in the fun, and everyone was smiling and jumping!

Then this 3ft wide bouncer appeared from behind me and started throwing, literally throwing people off the stage. the vibe took a sharp dip.. as i watched in disbelief as this pumped up doscile prick threw girls off the stage completely blanking the fact he was walking in front of our singer and getting in the way and even threw someone into Filth's brother in a wheelchair....... i approached him and said, "mate, it;s fine, leave them on stage.. it's ok for them to dance here!!!"

He ignored me and contimued to throw girls off stage like they were bags of rubbish being dumped in a rubbish van.

An orange haired girl who was buzzzzzing and kept getting back up on stage grinning from ear to ear and was clearly having a great time, was finally grabbed by him, he dragged her across the stage and violently dragged through a fire exit and down some stairs.. the poor girls limbs were a flailing and she and eveyrone who witnessed it were in complete disbelief at this steroid ingested cunts animal-like aggression!!!

Then a 7ft bearded bouncer stood behind me..... he refused to let our photograper Rev on stage. I screamed at him, called him a cunt, and hurled a load of abuse at him, and he threatened to kick my head in and drag me outside. the place was fucking bouncing.. the bass rumbling. hands in the air... people were loving it.. the vibe was electric.....why were these dopey massive gorillas on our stage, being cunts.........i have no idea!!!

The Waggas : Hardcore

we dropped the new tune. 'Benefit Cheat' for the 2nd time ever... still taking shape.. still no idea what we are doing with it.......but fuck me, it is sounding HUGE............

we stopped the set a bit short and got the fuck away from the security before it turned ugly.....

big shout to Mr Fish and James Wonk and to the entire Wonka Vision crew. And the Swansea tribe! Keep it SICK.

SMASH TOGETHER A HUGE CATALOGUE OF WORK

2010-08-26T16:22:00.010Z

DOWNFALL........

remember that game?

You could store all your pieces back in the cogs so your opponent didn't think you were doing well then when he frantically turned the cogs to get his last few pieces out, thinking he is about to win..........he releases all of yours for you in one go. Win.

Get your ammunition stored. Build it up. No matter if no-one notices, just keep building it up. When people find you through links from similar things.... all of your work will come to light and blow people's minds.

BENEFIT CHEAT.....

2010-08-25T13:02:00.002Z

so we launch out new concept next week..... massive new song under contruction.. punk as fuck... and a design based on the Job Centre Plus logo..............

It's gonna be a budget t-shirt at around £8 and when you buy it you get the single FREE. and this is the only way you can get the tune... we think it;s gunna be huge!!! what;s your thoughts?

Make some room

2010-08-25T08:46:00.005Z

pic by Kirstie Edmunds

You can try and get the thing you want frantically and stress yourself out when you keep failing. You couldn't possibly try any harder and it just won't come. Flapping around the place and pissing everybody off including yourself.

Make some room.

Take care of the small details and make room in your life for your desires to come to you.

It's really simple concept but is hard to put into practise. We are so used to trying so hard to get what we want.

Try taking care of some of the small things that need sorting. Basic housekeeping.

"Fuck chasing the carrot, grow your own."-Ninjah

Trying to make it

2010-08-24T06:36:00.006Z

what exactly are you trying to make? money? overnight fame? to be the next Specials? the next Lady Sovereign? Another Dubstep producer? the new indie sensation? are you hoping to suddenly be DISCOVERED?

What if all the energy spent trying to make it went into being outstanding, original or brutally different?
Would that attract attention, an audience? Would it stand out more than some one shouting about themselves but having nothing new or exciting to offer?

how did they do it, the legends and stars of our time? Did they imitate? and then scream about how good they were? were they discovered, an overnight success?

or did they innovate and attract attention and build a business from scratch, increasing their fan-base over time and dripping their way to success?

WE ARE CONSTANTLY UP AGAINST SHIT THAT MONEY HAS BEEN THROWN AT TO MAKE IT AN OVERNIGHT SUCCESS...
hence so much dodgy music around at the moment, with no real stars, just hyped up losers that doesn't make history, and this kills the innovation and creativity of our time...

Keep on keeping on. be yourself. push the boundaries in being different. Fuck them.

Here Seth Godin sums it up:
Hope and the magic lottery

how to make history

2010-08-23T20:06:00.002Z

...do something that has never been done before?

any other ideas?

BOOMTOWN FAIR 2010

2010-08-19T16:38:00.000Z

DIY (Rely on NO ONE)

2010-08-12T18:27:00.003Z

1. buy a beat up old computer
2. acquire a dodgy copy of Reason
3. make some loops
3. get some one who likes to rant down a mic
4. get a drummer
5. do not practise
6. get on stage

Punk's DIY ethic is alive and well in the city of Cardiff, and it's catching on around the UK...

in 2005, five misfits came together and decided to take to stage without ever practicing or discussing what they would do.
Johan Flapsandwich kicking out dirty acid breaks and techno loops from his beaten up old laptop; Filth Collins smashing out badly timed live rock drumming that doesn't suit the show at all and angry arty musings and rants from disheveled front man Doghouse formed the basis of a sound that could be the only true original music of this millennia.
A mute dancer, known as Dr Conker, akin to a 'ketamine addled Uncle Fester' or 'Keith Flint with aids' provides much entertainment with his blatant mind altering ways and disgusting indecent exposures, whilst VJ - Johnny No Cash supplies a visual show that projects behind the band at every show that is sure to inspire some but offend a great deal more...

Fast forwrd to 2010 and you have a band that are headlining festivals and consistently touring around the UK and Europe, despite never actually sitting down to write a song or get some rehearsals in.
Every show is different and although songs have formed over time, every show brings something new, with special guests randomly appearing at shows, new songs made up on the spot, band members vomiting or collapsing and often half the audience members joining the band on stage. At their annual Phone In Sick Party last year, one female audience member managed to reach full orgasm on the dancefloor, a feat that the band plan to repeat on mass scale at future shows.

Sicknote have brought the DIY ethic back to the forefront of our conscience. With so many over produced bands with no real passion or integrity, the band compare this current time to the beige period before punk shook the world in the mid-late 70s, only Sicknote intend to take the punk ethic to the next level.. encouraging people to download dodgy software and start making a racket for this era.

"You can get a beat up old computer for £30 off ebay and get a copy of Reason off Piratebay and your away...", Flapsandwich (Sicknote producer)

If people aren't inspired to let off some steam at the gigs or to make a racket and express themselves in their own way then Sicknote feel they are wasting their time...

Time to rejoice in a real movement of the underground, which has nothing to do with the mainstream? Is this what we have been waiting for? Thousands of people are turning up at shows and rejoicing in their own unique way to the degree not seen since Acid House and previously the Punk movement.

It doesn't make sense to the masses, but it brings the underbelly of the nation together and offends the mainstream. The music press and record companies are trying to ignore it, but it just keeps growing.. from the bottom up... like every big movement in the history of music... those in control can try and hide it.. but there is no doubt there is no taming this beast.

"We are not a band, we are a movement.", Doghouse (Sicknote frontman)

- thanks to James McGammon, NMR

STAKKER : HUMANOID (flapsandwich odd tits re-rub)

2010-08-11T08:04:00.005Z

how fucking twisted is this video... i love it... it was a birthday present off my girlfriend on DVD and it's called Forbidden Zone... a total cult classic from the 80's by Richard Elfman with all music by Oingo Boingo... i nicked some footage and slapped it over this half-arsed remix of Stakker's classic early acid belter - HUMANOID.. i really need to go back and improve the track, finish it up. but finishing shit is the hard bit ;)

Forget Florence – meet the real stars of the festival scene

2010-07-27T17:21:00.000Z

An article from Owen Adams for The Guardian newspaper:

Getting off at the wrong bus stop led me to an otherworld of free festivals and brilliant bands. Just don't expect to read about Tragic Roundabout or the Tofu Love Frogs in the music press

And the award for hardest-working artist on the festival circuit goes to ... Florence and the Machine? Hot Chip? Dizzee Rascal? Not likely. It's the DIY stars who really deserve the props – relished by veterans of the free festival scene, but never appearing in critics' reviews.

For hardcore festivalgoers, Glastonbury isn't the next fixture, it's this weekend's Solstice. The People's Free festival at Stonehenge no longer exists, so where to go? Watch Tragic Roundabout fire up their chaotic klezmer cauldron in a field somewhere in Worcestershire, join the Hawklords on a retro-space trip on a Welsh farm, or swoon as Eat Static hit the acid-alien-techno button at the Willowman festival on the North Yorkshire moors.

Yet no matter how big, brilliant and groundbreaking the Solstice gathering, you can be fairly certain no national media outlet will bother covering the event – a photo of druids at Stonehenge will suffice – and the only publicity it will get in the local press is if there's been any trouble.

This cultural otherworld has flourished for more than 40 years (and the bands regularly whip large crowds into a frenzy), but aside from the tireless chronicles of Festival Eye, the nomadic troubadours of the summer festival circuit are resolutely ignored by the mainstream. Why? Do some people just dismiss everything not on Glastonbury's Pyramid stage as "crusty"?

Logic doesn't always play a part. Gogol Bordello are feted by Madonna and the mainstream while a dozen British-based bands on the gypsy punk tip are met with complete indifference. Wicked Squad are respected in the dance underground for gypsy techno, and Stenchman for gypsy dubstep, but the free-festival culture that produced much of this remains a music-press taboo. Critics rightly celebrate Tinariwen and nomadic Tuareg sounds, but don't give British traveller music a second thought.

Crass, who sprang from free-festival culture in the mid 1970s, are one of the few revered acts, applauded for their year-zero edge. But there are many more bands deserving similar respect, such as the proto-punk Pink Fairies (long gone but poorly remembered), the nihilist dub poetry of RDF, the furious ceilidh-punk of the Tofu Love Frogs, not to mention recently reformed anarcho funk-punks Zounds and techno-punks, Sicknote.

Much of what's happening on the fringes of the UK festival scene is important. I've been familiar with it ever since, as a teenager in the mid 1980s, I got off at the wrong bus stop and wandered into a free festival in Milton Keynes. Positioned on a flatbed lorry was a one-chord thrash guitarist and a trio of Bacchae-like women taking turns to scream down the mic. Screech Rock and the Mutoid Waste Company's spontaneous collaboration, witnessed by hundreds, documented by no one (until now) was just the start. When NME was fixated on the Blur v Oasis grudge match, I was likely to be found Messed Up with Culture Shock, stuck in a Daydream with Back to the Planet, spun out on Ozrics or tuned into Radio Mongolia.

And the free party continues somewhere each weekend (if not thwarted by draconian laws and riot police) with a host of new ingredients, new generations, but with the same Do It approach exemplified by the Pink Fairies at the People's Free festivals in the 1970s. If you're not a part of it, then you're missing out.

Worst Gig Ever?

2010-07-27T17:10:00.001Z

a guest posting from Doghouse:

NELSON SUMMER FETE 27/8/06 -"The scarecrow mocks"

The usual introduction to the Sicknote set, "Ladies and gentlemen, I welcome you to the Redneck County Clubhouse Band", was tinged with irony when Sicknote walked on stage at Nelson 'Festival'; for this most surely was, indeed, redneck country.

On first arrival, the colourful bunting, marquees, beer tent and generally chilled out vibes gave the impression of a typical, tolerant, Welsh family day out, but beneath this innocuous, fluffy exterior there lurked something more sinister...

The stage was set up at one end of a long corridor-like marquee, and, sitting on bales of hay, at the other end were those that came to be entertained... the 'locals'. A huge gaping expanse separated the two; a no-mans land; a void that needed to be traversed if any meaningful connection was going to be made between performers and the audience. What followed was the most valiant display of dog-eared determination to do just that... make a connection...

On every level Mr. Doghouse tried to reach out to those assembled; even his pre-performance ritual of picking up discarded scraps of paper, cigarette butts, deflated balloons and whatever else he can find, and attaching this deitrius to himself with a roll of masking-tape, took on an air of self deprecation when he added some carefully placed bundles of hay and instantly morphed into the mentally challenged, but harmless scarecrow from the 'Wizard of Oz'... if only he had a brain!

From that moment on, when, prior to any musical note being played, Doghouse asked the crowd to move forward, closer to the stage, to breach the gap between them, and was greeted with a vacuous apathy so nullifying that you could feel the weight of it hanging in the air, like a nebulous black sponge, saturated with the foulest bile, and threatening to engulf all in it's brain-sucking treacle, he knew he was gonna have his work cut out...

Squeeze the sponge or drown! And squeeze he did...

It didn't matter that it was only 4 'o' clock in the afternoon, and that the only people paying attention were a bunch of primary school-age kids, sat in a line, four feet away from the stage, entranced by the scene before them; obviously expecting the same harmless buffoonery from Doghouse as the original scarecrow.

It didn't matter that Sicknote were more accustomed to pushing the boundaries in more 'acceptable' circumstances; the odd pool of vomit in a sweaty nightclub; a flash of Dr. Conchar's cock at a private bikers' festival, and even the wholehearted encouragement of stage invasions.

What did matter, however, was Sicknote were being blatantly ignored, overlooked, given the cold shoulder; an unacceptable response, tantamount to identifying oneself as the target which is at the heart of Sicknote's psychotic reason d'etre; to wake the masses...

No more, this sleeping acceptance...

No more, the worry, the anxiety, the guilt...

No more, the debt, for things we were hoodwinked into buying, that we never needed, that we sell on for a fraction...

No more, the acceptance of slavery; a golden handshake does not redeem an arthritic clasp...

No more, the wearing of masks, or, otherwise, the out and out acceptance of their existence and a wholesale realisation of the magical powers attributed to them...

"Taxi, for Mr. Bland!".

No more Superman... There's nothing wrong with Frankenstein's monster... He's just green... OK?

Wake up! Wake up! There's a party going on, wake up...

There's a party going on... Wake up, or you'll sleep right through it...

It was then that Sicknote realised that they weren't being ignored, on the contrary, behind the scenes and in the shadows opinions were being forged, and a plan of action was formulated; the set was to be cut short...

A message came through from the back of the stage...

"If we get off the stage now, they'll pay us half the money promised, but we must get off the stage now! We are not suitable for the event".

"Not suitable for the event? Too right we're not suitable for the event; the word 'event' itself, implies that some kind of activity will take place... I've seen more life in the morgue!".

In a last ditch attempt to assimilate, and thus understand the consciousness of the crowd before him, Doghouse entered 'slow-motion mode'; mouth agape, with a pained expression on his face, he moved slowly, but precisely, like an automated doll, but this gesture, rather than crossing the now tangible divide between artist and audience, only helped to further alienate the two parties; as an attempt at understanding became an act of mockery.

It was with feelings mixed between relief and anger that Sicknote finally left the stage, but the anger soon evaporated and an overall mood of stunned amusement pervaded as the band relived the whole experience backstage.

The Oracle and the Grinder then made a vain attempt to persuade the events organisers to give Sicknote the full fee, as promised, but this was thwarted by the ever increasing presence of large-framed, rugby-playing clones; an obvious show of strength and intimidation in support of the events organisers...

"No you don't deserve the full fee... You were racist and there was too much swearing!"

"Racist? Which bit was racist? Was it the inbetween-song banter about seeing dog faeces on the pavement and suggesting to stick little union jack flags in them? How can that be racist? I am British... A flag is something you raise when you're proud of your country. So why not raise a flag on the endless mounds of dog faeces on the pavement? They are a part of British culture... We should be proud of them. What other country would accept dog shit with pride? And if we're not proud of it... then why not get rid of it?

Acceptance? Arrrggghhh!!!

As for swearing, Doghouse would like to point out that he never swore once... The word- 'faeces' is a perfectly 'acceptable' expression for the substance otherwise known as shit, turd, crap or poo, and, unlike the latter would not offend the delicate and innocent constitution of children.

Still trying to justify their holding back on the full fee promised, the organisers then suggested that the whole band were on drugs! A lazy argument, usually adopted by the feeble of mind to explain any behaviour that differs from their own. They see someone who has invested time in developing their own unique language to communicate, and can express themselves lucidly, without constraint or censorship, as a threat to everything they hold dear... the status quo.

They can't understand why anyone would want to question that which comforts them; the 'safety in numbers' of blind acceptance; the very glue which holds their precarious lives together...

"No-one in their right mind would question that... therefore they must be on drugs!"

No consideration for the years of creative study and mastering of skills that allow a lack of self-consciousness and a heightening of psychic receptivity. No appreciation for the heartfelt performance or the determination to succeed in the face of overwhelming odds... No! Just a simple blanket statement...

"You're all on drugs!"

These idiots see themselves as the protectors of the status quo and assume they are righteous; the upholders of God, Queen and Country... How easily they fall into the mould of right-wing, christian fundamentalists; the blind faith, stoical and unreceptive...

You cannot connect with the unreceptive...

Don't even try...

Sicknote packed up, with no further argument, and left...

Goodbye Nelson...

See ya, see ya, wouldn't want to be ya...

So folks, the moral of the story is... If you don't want your brains to shrivel up, due to lack of use, and risk the possibility of early Alzheimers, then... Don't go to Nelson.

BEAT HERDER 2010

2010-07-08T19:22:00.013Z

so we get in the new motor minus Conker..... still missing and still no idea if he is in the band anymore(!)
wich the fucker would get in touch.

the Sun is belting down and spirits are high!
on the six hour journey we entertain ourselves by planning out new songs and ideas and concepts..
including our Beard Banning campaign; and a covers album called Floggin The Dragon where we cover all welsh acts in our style... :)
and also the Coldplay song Clocks that we were prancing around to in Galsto at 7am like a bunch of fairies...... we decided to do a version of this...... the song content will rant about everything being gay, as people seem to use this term wrongly a lot in conversation and thought we'd take it and exaggerate it.. it will make sense when it's finished.. but this sparked hours of fun as we all randomly called everything and anything gay for the rest of the journey...

Traffic Jams GAY!
Ford Kas GAY!
Everyone who lives in Worcester GAY!
The Digestive System GAY!
Homophobia GAY!

we arrive at the gate of Beat-Herder at 7:02pm precisely greeted by safe-as-fuck organiser Nick who declared we were due on stage at 7pm and that we have probably missed our set... :o we all argued that we were on at 8pm.
he took us to main stage where the stage manager Biff shouted at us and said we fucked it. He said he had checked the emails and it was definitley 7pm... i then put my hands up and said ok.. it's my faut i shoulda checked before we left.. OOPS, "anyway"... i said,"how bout we just get the fuck on stage right now and play til 8pm?"

we got out of car and walked straight on to stage plugged our shit in and are playing live within 5 minutes.. the crowd swells and the sun shines... people start jumping and whooping..... just getting going and the stage manager decides to stop us 7:50pm.... i mean! COME ON!!!! ffs. the crowd abuse him and shout at him but we are pulled off stage....... doghouse howls.. "come check us in the green tent at 2am" then we head back stage set up camp and collect a few crates and bottles

that night we get wrecked up and take in the festy.. and it's fucking wicked... we set up on the smallest pa in the festy and bang out a fucking messy chaotic set in the green tent at 2am.. to a dishevelled and wooping bouncy crowd which included cardiff legendary DJ and birthday boy DAVE GROOVESLAVE and Mr. ThimblebERRy!!!!
Johnny No-Cash again failing to provide visual projections decides to hump a nearby monitor speaker and ride it like it's a fucking bucking bronco or his favourite gelding from his warped childhood...
Mid-set, Filth randomly squawks at me and with two fingers points at his eyes and then me and repeats with a fucked up charlie warped angry emptiness....i pick up my bottle of water and fling it at his stupid, red, neil kinnock-looking head... he looks like he is gunna come at me again like at the Cwmaman gig... i am ready... he sits down and carries on drumming.. the front row witness this, half of them laiughing half of them freaked out.

after the gig, Ninjah phones and tells me he has been in a cell all day and has been arrested and up in court on a section5 for dressing as Batman and weilding a sledge hammer in Boots. i laugh my tits off but he is banned from city centre meaning we have to move our operations elsewhere.. we have wicked chat and say goodnight.....

We sit in the moonlight, doghouse and johnny the entertainment... and out of the darkness pops up my internet buddy and fellow fatnek Laura.... she buys me a balloon, we lie on the floor suck in balloon, hold hands, everything echoes into a metallic WOMP WOMP WOMP and we laugh then she says must go...! and disappears into the night........

i neck some more red wine, and about 5am wrap my self in the king prawn blanket.

the next afternoon we stroll about the festy like a bunch of pricks.

we give out some tees and cds and meet people from Glasto and Micky the husband of Ixinda Mix, who i was excited to talk to..
there seems to be a good reaction to our friday night shows and we try to no avail to nail a saturday one... we chill and take it all in... fucking happy as fuck... stunning weather...... fucking LUSH festy!!!

then i'm stood at the Falafel stand and who is in front of me in the Queue? MR FUCKING MOTIVATOR! i have a chat with him and a few people are gathered round.. i said, "what should i buy here, you know i'm trying to be healthy"... he said, "buy wahtever you want"
"but you have the body i desire, can't you help me out?", i asked
he looked me up and down and quipped, "I don't do miracles on a saturday afternoon."
to which everyone in the vicinity pissed themselves at. he strolled off. and i was well and truly done by mr. fucking motivator.
lol.

we headed up to the Smokey Tentacle tent. I laid on a cushion with dickie and some green tea. The funktion 1 soundsystem filled our bodies with dubby bass and trancey quivvers.. then a band took to stage....
girl with gadgets, drummer and troboner. at first i was unsure but then she started to get to me... each song becoming more dark and wild, and tragic and passionate... then a song which i think she introduced as 'distance' gripped me, filled my eyes with tears and echoed absoulte insanity and pure sense through my brain simultaeneously.. i looke outside the sky spotless except a man hangliding in circles, people skipping and chilling outside the tent... and the bass of Distance carressing me, a repeated vocal of a thing i'm sure i was hallucinating as only i know about it, and then she sang exactly the things i had been thinking for the last 24 hours.... i turned to Dickie, "i think i'm losing it mate."
i felt like i was in a weird warped kind of heaven. what a fucking moment. i spoke to the girl after, and the band are VIEKA PLAYS, check them out.

Later there are rumours around the site that sicknote had beaten up the stage manager of the green tent and poured wine all over his head... !?!?!? we try to clear them up, but it transpires Doghouse did something to him that he cant remember, but i can't imagine Doghouse beating anyone up, being the hippy he is (!) anyway it's all cleared up and we go to check out DAN LE SAC Vs SCROOBIUS PIP. they smash the fuck out of the place and play to the biggest crowd of the weekend. excellent band.
only spoilt momentarily by a FUCKING POI SWINGER who decided to swing on stage, behind Pip while he poured out his heart on his views on Suicide. i mean for fuck sake. the most inapporiate of all the cunty poi swingers. she thankfullly gets kicked off.

Soon after we are watching The Blessed and are dazzled by how shit they are, and bamboozled as to why the fuck they are headling the Saturday night.
then pops up Fatnek again!! we bosh some rhino trnquiliser, she collapses, pukes and then i carry her back to my tent,. i wrap her in the king prawn and we chill, filth and no-cash snoring with us...

at 5am fatnek wakes in a frenzy of blood curdling screams as doghouse pops his sweaty gurning wrinkly head into the tent. i find myslef running as fast as fuckery lying down, as i wake from my sleep...! wtf, like that dog, Bizkit!>>

proving at the sign of any trouble my natural reaction would be to run like fuck. gay.

me and the neck walk round the festy and chill together as the sun pops up..
i got Kev the laptop on my back as always.. and everyone calls me ninja turtle or school kid or wahtever..
i think about this and think well, i am ready to plug this fucker in anywhere any time and make thousands of people dance...

i start chanting in my head over and over...
"i'm a one man mother-fuckin party machine."
this will be the new sicknote song.

fucking amazing weekend.

Where the fuck is Dr Conker ?

2010-06-19T11:36:00.000Z

.........................updated VERY SOON

ANDREAS MORITZ - the amazing liver cleanse

2010-01-16T16:39:00.000Z

THE LIVER CLEANSE

2010-01-15T18:51:00.003Z

feeling sluggish and not very good, and heard liver cleanse is amazing... so i decided to try it,

this is what you do:

LATE NIGHT SO WOKE UP AT MIDDAY, ATE A LATE FRUIT BREAKFAST.

STOPPED ALL EATING AT 5pm.

Mix 4 TABLESPOONS OF EPSOM SALTS IN 3 CUPS OF WATER.
PUT INTO JAR AND BANG IT IN THE FRIDGE.

9pm.
Drink first 3/4 full cup of Epsom Salt mixture.

11pm.
Drink second 3/4 full cup of Epsom Salt mixture.

12.45am.
Squeeze 1/2 cup full of fresh pink grapefruit juice.
Squeeze 1/4 cup full of fresh lemon juice.
add to 3/4 cup of Olive Oil.
Go to Toilet.

1am.
Neck the mixture. Immediately lie on your right side. Relax in fetal position for 30mins.
Use toilet if necessary. Sleep.

next morning. 9am.
As long as you dont feel nauseus then drink the third epsom salt 3/4 cup.

11am.
Drink last cup.
Relax in bed.

later that day, start with juices, then fruit, and you will be able to eat normal food by the end of the day .

i will report on my progress as i go .

5 reasons why YOU SHOULD NOT COME to the PHONE IN SICK party:

2010-01-02T13:30:00.002Z

1. it is too cold.
2. you are too old.
3. you are a miserable fucker.
4. you havent got a fiver.
5. you hate music.

THATS RIGHT!!!

CAKEHOLE PRESLEY HAVE NOW BEEN ADDED TO THE BILL!

Sunday 17th January, at secret cardiff city centre location.

★ sicknote ★ cakehole presley ★ supacell djs ★ tommy tank ★

plus one more VERY special guest to be announced soon.

11 early bird tickets still available at £5, price goes up when they are gone..

go:

http://www.tantrumrecords.net/

Hairy Foot...

2009-11-22T10:49:00.007Z

so we headed off to Hereford to celebrate the birthday s of Russell , Bagrat, Flakey and Me......

on the journey in the Sickmobile we could see The Plough, consellation.... fixed bright as fuck in front of the van just above the horizon surrounded by a real deep purple sky and the window was open and we sped towards our party, smoking cigarettes and chatting........... wheres orion belt said someone, what about Jeff Goldbulms cock remarked the Filth........ JOhnny No-Cash (P&O) announced that he had proposed to his misses, Ady HD, the 1st sicknote wedding.....................! plans for a full on debauched stag do in amsterdam are already underway... ;)

we arrived at the venue and were greeted by some friendly folk and a room full of alcohol. we quickly soundchecked and the rest of the band headed down to a local pub , i chilled back with Dick Balboa and sucked on a few beers.... and set up the merch stall.

40 mins later and the posse turned up, 2 cars of lovely Cardiff folk, we all hugged and wish each other happy bdays....
just then Filthy and Johnny return from the pub and look fucking SMASHED.... filthy looks more twatted than i have ever seen him, with his eyes sunk in the back of his head and keeps trying to hug me... and Johnny passes out in a near by corner...
Fuck me... we are on stage in 45 minutes and these two are no use... just at this point im thinking i hope to fuck Doghouse aint in the same shape..... and Conker walks in - well, he is immune... always looks the same - regardless of his chemical intake, and often his performance on stage is enhanced by extreme narcotic consumption.

Doghouse shows up and looks fucking ON FORM!!!! thank FUCK for that!!! a little smashed, but no where near in the shape of the other 2!! they seem to come around a bit as we hit the stage and we spend the next hour smashing the shit out the soundsystem and people bounce like fuckery....

i push the levels to max., the huge rumbling bass looping from BURDEN, through the system....... vibrates my rib cage and i close my eyes and let it massage me all over....soon after i drop JUST BUSINESS in, with .Doghouse leans over and pokes me with his spiney finger , i open my eyes and he;s shruggin his shoulders and looking blank........ BURDEN i shout, BURDEN!!!!! he often needs reminding what song we are doing even though we been playing that for over a year now.... i prefer it when i drop him in it and just answer him with NEW ONE!!!!!! hahaha... but not this time...........
Then Filths head pop round from behind the monitor..... what this????? JUST BUSINESS YA BELLEND i shout.....
ths places bounces into tthe night....
i devour the rider...
love ly sicknote tribe are gathering in the carpark after and trying to get us to stay over... but Dickie Balboa is ready to go.... and is taking no shit.... i get lobbed in the van with a few other randoms and hang out of the window most of the way home chukcing up my rider on the hardshoulder.....
i get home, have a muffin and get into bed at 6am,
wake up and its time for the 1st meeting with the CUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

see next post...

sounds incorporated reviews Sicknote

2009-11-14T01:26:00.001Z

Epidemic on video!!!

2009-10-27T14:38:00.002Z

scroll thru the 13 videos of all the tracks that feature on sicknote live album Epidmic on the player above...
a DVD of this and other footage alsofeaturing interviews with the band will be available soon...

SAFE!

First Diagnosis

2009-10-24T18:18:00.004Z

Release Date: 16 September 2009
Label: TANTRUM records
Synopsis: Live recording of the first ever gig.

On the 14th of March 2005 Johan Flapsandwich and Doghouse met at The Hawaiian on City Road, Cardiff.

Doghouse mentioned that he'd performed the night before at Jacuzzi Junta, at Chapter Arts Centre - improvising lyrics over some electronic backing.

Although the crowd had been indifferent, he was keen to get back into performing with his voice; in fact he'd bought a mic two years ago with this in mind, but none of the local musicians took him seriously. Johan expressed surprise, not realising that Doghouse was a vocalist, and told him that he made music and maybe they should get together sometime for a jam. Doghouse went home that night excited, and the next day told his partner everything. She suggested he give Johan a ring, and just at that moment the phone rang. It was Mr. Flapsandwich himself suggesting they get together that afternoon.

Doghouse bought a bottle of wine and went round there to be played some of the tunes Johan had been creating. The chemistry was there instantly and Doghouse ran home to get his mic. The afternoon was spent jamming and a definite sound was formed. The buzz was overwhelming.

Three days later they were asked to play live at The Old Howardian Club, Clifton Street, Cardiff.

The gig was recorded live from the mixing desk onto mini disc. The three tunes captured represent Sicknote at their most minimal; Flapsandwich at the controls and Doghouse oozing stream of consciousness meanderings. The audience stayed well away from the spectacle, tapping their feet in unison, their backs against the wall, but Sicknote were born and there was no going back.

Enjoy.

Doghouse
X

download the improvised live album FREE here (in just 1 click):

FIRST DIAGNOSIS Download button

http://dl.getdropbox.com/u/1324289/FIRST%20DIAGNOSIS.zip

the re-rubs vol.1

2009-10-16T19:30:00.004Z

so i decided to get my tunes together and release them on a free album on halloween

here is my possible track listing (not 100% yet):

1. Shut It : Flapsandwich
2. Meat Flapsandwich : Flapsandwich
3. Thunderbird (Flapsandwich Bootleg) : Seasick Steve vs Sicknote
4. Fuck The Poor : DumBass Vs Flapsandwich
5. George Bush RIP : Cosmo vs Flapsandwich
6. Work It : Daft Punk vs Flapsandwich
7. Phone In Sick (Flapsandwich ReRub) : Sicknote
8. ENERGY : Little Eris vs Flapsandwich
9. Do What You Love : Flapsandwich vs Vaynerchuck
10, DEATH Before EMPLOYMENT : Flapsandwich vs Sicknote
11. All Together : Flapsandwich vs Tommy Tank
12. In For The Kill (Flapsandwich Re-Rub) : La Roux

i picked up a set of Yamama HS80Ms for the studio and will use the Flapsandwich tracks as a practise to get mastering sussed and things... and then it will be commencing work on the first SICKNOTE studio album and some Ninjah tunes too!!!!

speak soon

flappy

x

ps. you can get the FREE debut Flapsandwich album from facebook on Halloween 09:

CLICK ME

NINJAH has a tantrum...

2009-09-08T07:57:00.009Z

so i woke after a 14 hour sleep and decided to hop on the bike.... i cycled to st fagans and chilled by a river for a while..... nice to suck in some nature..

i headed back and bumped into Ninjah at the farmers market opposite Millenium Stadium.

We headed back to Tantrum Towers.

Ninjah cooked up a Rastaman Meal and with our new energy we headed into my studio...

I have been trying to work with Ninjah for some time, but he has been partnered up with producer extraordinaire Frank Naughton, for his first two albums.

I listened to the albums....

the first i found bit weak and not enuff kick ass bass......

the second is a masterpiece, with very clever Zappa-esque production, intricate layouts and layering, brilliant vocal performances and excellent vocal production.

BUT, i still found something lacking.

to bring out the best of Ninjah i think his humour should shine thru and take the forefront and the beats shold be fat, so that they would work on a dancefloor. And it needs to be Raw...

So we sat down tinkled about for a few hours and come up with our first ever song....

we slapped together a DIY stolen video for it and Ninjah went off down to Buffalo and a few other bars to get them to spin it and see what the reaction might be like.....

A phone call from the legend later that evening confirmed that this song is a winner... with DJs requesting a copy of it and dance floors winding their ass to it, less than an hour aftrer we finished it.

here it is, Ninjahs first tune with Flappy at the controls....

Many more to come!

I am fully aware my production skills are a long way away from the genius that is Frank Naughton, but i do hope that my simple raw style will work on a few tracks and offer a slightly different take on what Ninjah has to offer.

Ninjah - APACHE

Ninjah Fan Page

Flapsandwich
X

I came all the way from Chester for this Shite

2009-08-25T07:01:00.008Z

sicknote @ BLAENGARW CARNIVAL AFTER PARTY!

Unofficial fan review of GIG. (planet steve)

A much laid back location and everyone is not only friendly they all say they are related. Really good sense of humor and can drink till sunrise.
The sign in the blokes cubicle states that if more than one person is seen in it, it will be presumed they are having GAY sex. AS they wouldn’t be doing drugs and drugs are not allowed in the pub. A bucket of water will be thrown over them.
The smoking garden had to seen to be believed (back garden sauna needs some work), be better when he gets some water and coals.

Gig was a good laugh and by my count had at least 70% of the pub attempting some form of dancing.

The CRISP munching many all decided that instead of just watching the outsides jump round like chickens, they would show us how it is done, round these parts. Totally bonkers laugh on the dance floor all gig. Young Raves, Goths, Punks and Pensioners all moving there bits to sicknote.
Even caught a few of them old men brigade tapping the feet near the bar. Nowt short of a nuclear attack was gonna make up stand up and give them seats up.

After gig, the locals informed me of a party that was happening in an ambulance parked just over the road. I smiled more than a little as that was my van. We invited two friends (sorry sisters) over for a drink. It turned into a mini party and it got moved to a local’s house.
Picked up the sambuka and cider , party , party. Drink until sunrise.
When dressed in a PINK DBE t-shirt and being pissed out of mind, I didn’t noticed the way to the house party from the pub, coz I was chatting.
Left the house party around 7:00am, headed off back to the VAN. Went the wrong way on the main road and walked about a mile in the wrong direction. DOW!

It was a nice morning and a few road cleaners were out and about, they set me straight and back I walked in the right direction. Not one MacDonald’s to be seen, was great. I managed to stave out my unnatural urges for a breakfast macmuffin. Due to the fact that I couldn’t find a Mac’s to buy one in.

I asked the road crew if they had seen a MacDonald’s anywhere, They laughed and recognized the pink sicknote t-shirt, they remembered talking to me in the house party earlier that nite. Said you walked the wrong way. So pink sicknote t-shirts : can be used to get directions! fact!
This village and the gig was a total blast!
top one nice one, got sorted! No fires were lit over the course of the whole event! -steve cooke

sicknote @ blaengarw

shit myself have you?

2009-08-17T12:04:00.015Z

SICKNOTE have a new manager...

manager? eh?
wtf.

well, he ain't your average manager.........

"I need you fuckers down here this saturday night to headline my house party.... ", declared robin in a serious voice, on the phone to me last wednesday.....

now, when Robin talks in this voice you know he means business. And when he says house party, he means the house, the barn, the massive garden, with several marquees, full decor, fancy dress theme, 24 k rig, full led screens and lot and lots of wrnogness...

a few phone calls and a few tweaks and we were confirmed to play....

We've known Robin for a while, he often turns up at gigs unannounced and likes to get trashed and turn himself inside out - hes a good mate of our lovely designer man Paul Peach and we like him. Robin runs Picture Works, which supplies visuals, screens, lights, etc. to some of the biggest events in the World... including Glastonbury and the Pope's speech...
hardcore party head and hardcore business man.

here the facebook chat conversation we had on friday:

13:06Robin
Bearing in mind that we are a truly staggerng amount down on this party, what are we paying you?! Please be nice!

13:10Jason
lets do a deal

13:14Robin
I hate shit like this and I REALLY hate being unfair. What can you live with.

13:14Jason
lol
im thinking - wanna do a deal for u
2 secs

ok
we being getting a grand a gig lately, but hear this:
give us beer/drugs and £100 expenses for this weekend - ? BUT you become our manager for 3 months at 15% for every thing you generate.... deal? we need you on board mate and we can take this shit thru the stratosphere....
3 month trial.. and then you and us decide if we carry on or shake hands and move on...

13:42Robin
Sorry, system stoppd then but the answer to that is...
Well...

13:43Jason
...
..
.

13:45Robin
FUCK YEAH! I'VE BEEN THINKING THAT MYSELF FOR AGES. PLAYED YOUR CD TO LOADS OF PEOPLE ALREADY. ON THE CASE. TOTALLY UP FOR IT, WILL DO EVERYTHING I CAN. THAT'S THE LARGEST YES I'VE SAID ALL DECADE. ;->>>

13:45Jason
fuck me

GET IN

please make sure loadsa beer there and dodgy class a s and £100 forour driver.... xxx this is just the beginning. SAFE!!!

13:54Robin
Totally sorted.

13:55Jason
lets take this shit to where it deserves to be. Safe as fuck butt. welcome x\

__________________________________________________________

i immediately posted a pic of Robin upon the sick page and asked the Tribe to come up with a name for him, and there are almost 100 hilarious suggestions, but on Saturday we christened him live on stage...

I was lying in bed Saturday morning and i didn't feel good....my diet aint been great and i felt constipated for days so i googled:
"I CANT SHIT" and was told to try Prune Juice....

i went out and picked some up and went for a coffe with the Ninjah, who had is arm round me everywhere we went declaring me to all as his new boyfriend.... lol.... We sat down with a Mocha and here are this week's wise words

*The Master is the person who Masters himself...
*We are ninjas, Ninjah Pendragon and Quim Ninja, we can do anything... the ninja attitude is Do or Die.
*We must crack Japan.

i headed back to the flat and downed half a bottle of Prune juice and within 20 minutes i was trapped on the bog, as my entire insides were immediately liquified and were exploding out of my bottom end, i read the bottle and it said take 5 tablespoons... i had just drunk about half a litre straight from the bottle................ this was HIDEOUS!!!!!!!!!

after the experience, i had a bath and got ready for the gig, and walked into the kitchen to grab my keys.... i walked straight into 3 inches of water... the kitchen was flooded, i had left the tap on when filling the sink earlier for the dishes..... i sloshed thru it and grabbed the mop and my phone went.... the band. outside in the van. "ARE You Ready?"

i sed YEah. Bunged my entire wash basket and curtains, towels, dressing gown and everything i could find into the massive puddle in the kitchen, grabbed Kevin and fucked off.... :/

we sped off down the motorway and my gut was gurgling away.... Port Talbot steel work's stench had me fooled that my arse had leaked for a minute and we stopped off in a services...... The Prune juice was still working its magic... i was trapped again and texted Filth in the van a photo of my pain.... so they knew why i was taking so long .....

The party was fat.

Robin seemed to be having an episode, and forgot to send drinks for the band, which made me feel like maybe he fucked up on step one of the management deal :O we blagged beers from the bar, watched some people dressed in bacofoil try and entertain us , and finally we crawled onto stage at 3,4 or 5am or sumtime fucknose...

We smashed the shit out of the place, the system was so loud it was painful, people bounced, filthy was awful and couldnt keep a beat, doghouse screamed like a nutter in the quiet bits, some randoms were on stage trying to dance, nicking my beer, and falling over the place and i kept missing the kick ins and there was an almighty crackle everytime i hit the laptop mouse pad as there was some dodgy lead connecting it to the humoungous system and it kept cutting out... Conker was nuts a usual, but kept his gnarly alf's nose in for a change.........and VJ P&O was brilliant(!)!!!!!!!!!! connected up to Robin's massive LED screens, he made up for the abortion he has made of this summer.....

Robin was dragged up on to stage during I'm In Love, and doghouse anounced that he was now our new manager and from this day forth was to be known as..................

Cunt!!!!!!!!

Robin looked perplexed and the crowd smiled , no one really had a clue what was going on - everyone completely mashed..... as to be expected at that ungodly hour, in a field, in west wales.

So there you have it, 'Cunt' is our new manager (short for Robin Cunt), named after he decided not to supply the bands rider and pay the agreedl expenses on his first day of being our new manager (!)

The rest of the night was spent crawling around, laughing, drinking G&T, snorting all sorts of weirdly named abbreviations and generally being wrong as fuck....

i then dived into the van, and got kicked out in a right old pickle at summink like 3pm outside my flat....

FUCKING FUN BUS!

flapsandwich
x

Baaaaaaa. Sicknote @ Sheep Festival

2009-07-27T18:14:00.015Z

.

SO!!!
what the fuck went on in that soggy field in mid wales last weekend???

Fucked if i know!!! My memory is shot..
ill try and piece it together here:

P&O phoned me and declared in the most miserable voice i have ever heard, 'i got no projector maan, and my computer aint working' - he sounded like he d been snorting valium for a fortnight and just found out his cat had died...
the reason his equipment werent working was because his new bird had had a fucking epilieptic fit the previous week, and smashed the lot up before blackening both of P&Os eyes.....SCARY..... and he says, shes lovely(!)

'FUCK IT mate, have a weekend off, sort your fucking act out and we'll see you at Nozstock', i said, just to escape the misery....

i hopped in the Sickmobile and was greeted by the bard of bodmin, one-toothed hairy and crazed eccentric Daffydd... Dr Conkers guest for the weekend....
he funded Epidemic and was joining in the fun and coming to see us live for the first time...

me and Daffydd

Daffyd yawned every 23 seconds of the 2 hour journey and in the end i had his wide-open hippo-like mouth , one tooth and glistening tonsils burned to memory for life.....

we arrived at the festy and were guided 14 different routes by 8 differnt Stewards and finally pitched the tent with the rest of the Sicknote posse....

we got our shit togeher, picked up our rider and hit the stage.....

we smashed fuck out of the lovely Funktion 1 soundsystem they had and the tent rammed out and was bouncing like Fuckery before we knew it....

Sicknote live at Sheep Festival

off stage we sold more merchandise than we ever have and spirits were high.

We all ate some dodgy round things and felt weird , drank as much booze as we could get our hands on to dampen the effects of the Doctors dodgy prescription and hit the sack about 6am....

Next day and camp was bussling as i lay in the tent trying to swallow the cracked brain i had inherited from the night before.

Doghouse was on best behaviour, Faerie Muff and her son were present.... and it was strangely calming to have Doghouse so chilled out... a break from the norm, where you'll usually find his crusty black wine lip squawking 'GAYBALL' in your face, after he has gone 78 hours without sleep and devoured 14 bottles of Plonk.

-he was very pleasant today!

unlike his new adpopted son, who decided he was bored and thought it was cool to throw a frisby at us lot, repeatedly for an hour and a half... knocking Flakeys hat off and smashing various people in the face. If he was my kid i'd fucking ri... anyway..... and relax.

Me and Filth took a stroll into the nearby town, we got some supplies in , which was hindered by the fact i got ID'd. For the 2nd time in a week. i mean. FFS. anyway... i took it as a compliment some one thinking im half of my age....
we headed back to camp.

Filthy then decided it was time for his 9th meal of the day and busted out his camping stove.
i was relaxing in one of those floppy camping chairs, with a stella slotted in the holder and i was all wrapped up in my orange blanket... chilled i was.... but not for long...

an atomic mushroom bellowed out of Filtys stove which he was holding approximaltely 7 cm away from my fucking face... the stove went out, and then suddenly ........BaMMMMMM!!!!!!!!! again a huge flame flying out of the end about 5 feet long, as he waved it about looking fucking panicked and completely fucking retarded and pale... i dodged the huge flame as it grabbed for my fringe...
then i dived off my seat and rolled to safety , narrowly escaping a completely melted scalp....
filthy threw it to the floor....
'If theres a flame burning it wont blow up', squeaked a knowing voice from a nearby camp............. just as the flame went out.
all calmed down eventually and Filthy tucked into his Super noodles(!)

Filthy enjoying the noodles that nearly cost me my scalp, with Dickie sat by his side

Later that evening we headed into the festy , leaving Dr Conker face down in the tent after he drank half a litre of GHB and decided to stay in for the night and rape himself.

We handed out loadsa free Sickntoe kiddies t-shirts and there were lots of smiley faces....

we walked round the festy for a few hours then went to see Dub FX, who never turned up (fucksake - like the ONLY thing i wanted to see).
We walked around more....but there was literally NO music i liked ....NoTHING... just reggae, roots, blues, jazz, ska,.... i mean fuck me... its 2009 for fucksake...... disheartened we headed up to the food tent....
'Whos ordered Flan?' screamed the lady behind the couter. A nearby wrinkly big-nosed posh lady quickly replied, 'I'm a trout'.

A few hours later me and the Filth found ourselves in the all night Cafe with Clint from Peppermint Iguana who has an amazing calm prescence about him.... which helped me relax and smoke for the 1st time in many years and yes.... NO PARANIOA!!!! whoa! am i cured????? or was it Clint's amazing calming and warm , safe aura?????? who knows?

i got chatting to some middle class girl who was waffling away and i found myself thinking weird and wonderful things in my stoned haze and not really listening to a word she said, i guessed her age as 19 and she was completely offended , and then she guest my age as 40 and i was completely offended.... she left.
but, i mean i was IDed today.... so i look under 18 to some people and 40 to others... WTF.

A lovely lady came over then, with the biggest smile i have ever seen, it literally took up two-thirds of her face... it was amazing... she had a podgy pudding-headed boyfriend in a cowboy hat, hangin off her who was so insecure he constantly tried to kiss her to declare to everyone that she was his, and then he started playing air guitar with a pool cue in an attempt to look alpha.... LOL.
She chatted to me and i found my smile growing wider, trying to match hers... but there was no use...
'You probably get it all the time, but you look so much like hugh grant' she sed to me....
'HUGH FUCKING GRANT!' i retorted... 'DO I FUCK!! And NO i have never heard that before!!!???? '
LOL.

The tunes in the tent were bubbling nicely... the DJ sat in the corner engrossed in his job was sharing some classics with us..... best tunes i'd heard all weekend....
really enoying, until a Dreadlock waltzed over and turned it down so low it hurt to try and hear it.
He then marched behind the lentil counter in his apron and with his smug head started bossing the staff around...

i walked up to the counter and sed, 'excuse me mate can we turn the music up?'
'NO !!!', he ballooned in my face, turned around and then completely blanked me and carried on stirring his pot of gluten free lentil soup..

i called him over again, i put my nose very close to his and sed 'that is no way to treat a customer'... he babbled summink about me going sumewhere else and that was laa laa alaa. Tosser. He grunted his authority at me as i walked off. I was a little shakey as he was twice my size.... but at the same time ready to lamp the tit.

And then...... his Dad came into the tent..........with his big grey quiff and supplies for the cafe and started rubbing the dreadlock.

I went over to the Dj and sed 'You're playing the best tunes iver heard all weekend, but your boss is a helmet'...
'tell me about it', he replied. i gave him a copy of the sickntoe album.
'haaaaa', he said, 'i saw you lot at Waveform... i loved it... but i could'nt stay and watch you coz i kept seeing your dancer's willy, and it was making me sick.'

i sat back down next to Clint and his aura.

we drank and puffed til sunrise

Flapsandwich
x

SUFFER

2009-07-16T10:30:00.007Z

So, skint as fuck.
NOWT! nothing..... the joys of existing as an artist? Am i an artist? no, i dont think i am. i am some one who likes to express my feelings but then doesnt everyone do that in one way or another? Just because my expressions are recorded does that make me an artisit? is that the definition of an artist? Fucknose... id rather see myself as a unique being, i dont want to belong. Just be, as i am, 100% integrity intact, knowing i am true as i can be to myself.

Unable to pay the banks for my loans, and unable to buy goods to live this week has backed me into a corner and made good time for thinking...

Ignoring pretty much everyone who has contacted me, and shaking off the last of my swine flu, i kicked back and thought things through..... 1stly, how the fuck am i going to pay for my home after my flat mates leave in a couple of weeks.

Anyway, Dickie Balboa popped in really late last night and we talked for hours, a real friend, whos company i can say is a total pleasure, no pressure, no guilt trips, no gossip, no energy sapping.
Chilled out, on the ball, deep, caring, fucked up, experienced, creative, poor, adventurous and just fuckin funny.

The conversation turned to art, as he has recently sold his second ever painting, and had three abstract pieces selected for Rhondda Heritage Museum art competition.

He talked of JM Turner, who in the 19th century at a ripe old age, strapped himself to the front of a massive ship and was sailed head on into a blizzard.... and after being cut lose, and revived, immediately painted the classic SNOW STORM, below:

click to enlarge

Leafing through a book on innocent, in a shop earlier that day i picked up a couple of gems, about involving your audience and how 4 sticks of chewing gums were posted to everyone in the phone book and they still own the market 100 years on...
and coupled with Balbs rantings, just wanted to note down:

1. ASK QUESTIONS

2. SUFFER FOR YOUR ART

3. GIVE IT AWAY FOR FREE

after balb left i was surfing the web, and discovered an amazing film director called Jiri Barta. Dark as fuck. Love it! Stayed up for hours and put together a little video with his footage cut to Sicknote live track Shakin, which is from the album Epidemic:

Sicknote - Shakin'

flaps
x

La Roux’s Flaps

2009-07-13T15:06:00.004Z

so i made a remix of La Roux .... when the beat first kicks in after 2 minutes and 23 seconds get your hands in the air!!!!!!!!

hope you like it...

download it here:

LA ROUX - In For The Kill (Flapsandwich Re-Rub)

safe,

Flaps...

x

CHANGE

2009-07-10T13:10:00.008Z

so, with my ex cutting all ties with me, my flat getting robbed while i was on holiday and my friend sending me to court after not paying what he'd promise to pay for me while i was on holiday... coupled with me being completley Skint - and all my creditors pressuring me for money... and being busy as fuck with launching the Sub Clubs, promoting new Sicknote album and stopping Sicknote falling apart (after some fights in the band).... Since i have been home from Portugal i feel like things are ON TOP more than ever!!!!!

I hid away last weekend. and closed the curtains.. and locked the door and thought it all through....

I have decided to kick my flat mates out of Tantrum Towers.

I plan convert the bigger room into my new Studio.....
my good mate Strange Town has built me a stand alone Hackintosh with all required software. I am going to paint the room and have this room dedicated to making music and doing all my related work.

I am going to move my bed into the tiny room as it has double glazing and curtains and i think i will solve my insomnia if i sleep in a quieter, darker room....

Then the massive room which is currently my bedroom - i think i will offer up as a bedsit to someone. Or maybe convert into a living room if Sicknote or Sub can start paying me some income like NOW!!!!!!
thats the living thing sorted...

As for the creditors, well, i started to phone around- and tell them to make a new arrangement with me OR just take me to court....
unbelievably HSBC(unts) lowered my Personal Loan APR from 18.9% to 1.5% and are discussing a new payment plan with me.. UNBELIEVABLE!!!! most of the other creditors have WAIVED my interested and taken small monthly payments. Citibank credit card was on a brilliant APR of 5.9% but after missing 3 payments i have lost my lower APR and need to phone them next week to see if i can do some thing with it... so it looking like the pressure is coming off....
the debt is teetering at 20k and they can all fuck off!!!

The plan then is to work FULL TIME on my stuff..........
Half of the week will be dedicated to launching SUB Clubs around the UK and organising Tantrum related gigs and releases.

The other half will be mastering the studio with Doghouse, and churning out music which is forward thinking, honest, twisted and like nothing you or i have ever heard before............

Expect Sicknote to take you to places you never knew existed.

Safe....

Just getting ready now, for tonights headline performance at The Queen's Hall in Narberth....

Sicknote's spiritual guide, Dr Conker, has just phoned me.....
he declared that 'the spell has been broken!!!!!!!!!'.....
'TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT!'.........

See you there folks

Flapsandwich.
X

Meat Flapsandwich

2009-07-06T15:39:00.004Z

FLAPSANDWICH - pronounced Flapp Sen Veech

Johan Sebastian Flapsandwich.
International Quim Ninja
Stockholm, Sweden

http://flapsandwich.com

http://www.myspace.com/flapsandwich

1976 born on caribou farm on desolate scandinavian plains
1992 gave up caribou herding to find something more exciting
1993 headed to London with cousin Bjorn Humpledink
1994 began modelling and DJing career
1997 spent a year on the white island
1999 met Iola Loxton and married on day of meeting
2001 divorced, suffered breakdown booked into 'The Priory'
2002 moved to wales and began producing music
2005 formed a band, Sicknote
2007 launched Tantrum Records
2009 became world famous with band and modelling career

Personal interests:
Reason 4
Crumpets
Lying naked in the rain
Control
Fashion
Sex

join the facebook fan page here.
http://www.facebook.com/quimninja

Bruce Springsteen is a Cunt

2009-06-30T08:12:00.020Z

so, i'm back from portugal.... have a few beers with Steve Sub, and we end up in Ten Feet Tall and confirm just how pants we thought it was..... Next day Epidemic album finally arrives and the band get together to post the album out to all the Sickheads that pre-ordered it... which takes up most of the day and then it dawns on us that the Glastonbury tickets haven't arrived as yet.....

I phone the production team at Arcadia in Glastonbury and it dont look too pretty, I search my flat inside out... but no tickets... then while on the toilet i notice an envelope in the airing cupboard... it is indeed a recorded delivery envelope addressed to Sicknote.... torn open with tickets missing..... I log onto the Royal Mail track a parcel we see that my flat mate Tommy Tank had signed for it, even though he can't remember doing it, the day after i left for Portugal. The envelope has then made it's way from whereever he put it to the bathroom and someone has taken said tickets...

I interrogate my flat mates as much as possible to finally find out there has been only two visitors in the flat since i left for holiday... so whodunnit? well...

Tommy Tank, Cosmo, Will Kilnaboy and Will Sweep - are the only four people that have been here all week.

So what do i do? Anyways, i will find out who stole £1050 worth of Glasto tickets from my home while i was away...
I won't let this settle.... People can't nick from my home, end of... and if my flat mates are inviting people in who steal from me, then something needs to be done... I phoned the pigs and they are coming to finger print the envelope and the suspects. And we'll go from there...... next step though? YALE LOCK ON MY BEDROOM DOOR.

SO we decided to head off Friday night to Glastonbury, without our fucking tickets. We left Friday night because Filthy and Doghouse were bored as their girlfriends were busy, but they moaned enough so that they got their way... and we headed off in the Sickmobile. On the way to Rev and Flakey's to get Conker and we got a phone call from some Glasto insiders.... "Get down here tomorrow and see what is possible in getting you in but whatever you do DO NOT say you are Sicknote, or they will be charging you full whack for entry as they have looked into the delivery of your tickets and they have been sigend for and as far as they are concerned you have your tickets." WTF.

So, we decide to change the band name.. Filthy comes up with a classic, we all agree and from now on we are to be known as 'SPUNK TRUNK'.

We have a night in Rev and Flakey's and get mashed up dancing and laughing... top top night...

Spunk Trunk - coming to a festival near you.

So, after a heavy night, Spunk Trunk pile into the van and we head off to the festy to see if we can get in to play our fucking gig. We arrive at the festival and security are asking questions, we say we are Spunk Trunk from Bristol, and try various blags, but nothing seems to be working, and the security grow suspicious of us.. they park us up while they radio through to different people... what a fucking joke... Here we are sat outside the festival, when we are due to be playing at 10pm, and we can't even say who we are.

A few hours pass and many phone calls to people on the inside.. finally a friend of the Filth's come up with a result and comes out to meet us... he has two tickets.... The Filth and Dr Conker are in.
The ticket stubbs are sent out to us and we try but are turned away... fucking nightmare...
Finally we meet a lovely lady on who is a friend of a friend of a friend who cycles out to us and hands us a load of wrist bands which the 4 of us a manage to Sqqqqquuuueeeeeze onto our wrists and walk in. Spunk Trunk are in Glastonbury!!!

We head for the production office for Arcadia, secure our set and there is no mention of how we got in...
We set up camp and things look good, with the sun shining.. and everything on track... we head down to the stage and check it out.. unbelievable set up... the stage spits fire out, with circus folk hanging off various parts of it and two huge podiums extend out to above the crowd.. the soundsystem is fucking bumping and i would consider it maybe the best sound i have ever heard.. the bass throbbed through my rib cage and every one in the field danced...with room for about 5000 punters to squeeze in and watch the stage... everything's set for the biggest gig of our lives.. and i'm buzzing... this is it.. what i dreamed off since i was 12. i congratulate the soundman on what is the best sound i have ever heard and he hugs me and can't thank me enough....

The stage is set for Spunk Trunk.

we meet our Stage manager and a barrel of home-made cider is thrown at us... we are buzzing and everything is set..
There is a circus performance on before us and they begin their mental show.....
Everything is looking amazing.... but the sound has been turned down for some reason... and it is like WAY too quiet. i think maybe they are saving the volume for us... for the impact.
I go back to the soundman and ask him, and he puts his hand in front of my face......
Something aint right.... i go back to the Stage Manager and he looks depressed... WHAT THE FUCK IS GOIN ON...

he tells me that Glastonbury Security have been around and demanded that the sound be turned down on every soundsystem on site.. and he cant do ANYTHING about this... its lke 5 minutes before we go on.. and there is hardly any volume.
My arse drops out and i sit against the fence, my head in my hands in disbelief.

I tell the band what's goin on.. Filthy starts ranting in my face about how fucking it dont fucking matter as long as we can hear it.. fuck the audience.. and i'm on the edge... feel like i'm about to hit the stupid cunt.

We get on stage.
Stage manager apologising all the way. i feel like we are about to embarrass ourselves in front of a load of people and i am shitting it.. shaking like a fucking leaf. Filhty enters stage hands in the air like some rock god. and P&O does the same with a Freddie Mercury stance, mic in hand.... Doghouse stumbles on stage, looking withered due to his heavy session last night. Conker bounces on.

WE delve into a 40 minute set and play our hearts out... P&O miming to nothing... Conker bouncing back and forth the podiums and Filthy spending 80% of the gig in front of Doghouse with his hands in the air...
the crowd out front having a chat with each other as there was NO VOLUME and i could see people chatting away, the odd body bouncing about, and several crowds wandering off... but NOT the reaction we would have had if we had any volume... gutted? not the word... fucking furious.

SABOTAGED.

so we get off stage, and we are told that Bruce Springsteen had demanded that during his set every other soundsystem in Glastonbury get turned down. Nooooo. CANT BE FUCKING TRUE. the story is confirmed by other people back stage. yes, indeed. WE had well and truly been FUCKED BY THE BOSS.

So does this mean he told Michael Eavis to turn everyone down? And Micheal sent out his troops to do as 'the boss' told him?
Was Bruce scared that other stages would be better than him? Did Michael turn down Pendulum who were playing at the same time? What is the explanation for this complete fucking joke?

I'm in complete disbelief and fuming with the gig, and filthy gets in my face 'get over it' and 'be professional' and llaaa laaa laa.
i stick my nose on his and tell him the only fucking reason he is in the band is so he can tell his fucking mam he made it as a rockstar and that he doesnt even like sicknote and that he cant fucking drum i spit a nasty: "FUCK OF YOU CUNT" in his face before i disappear off into the night to get away from the band, who i just want to kill right now.

I bump into some friends and eat a massive lump of Mud, me and Balb head for the Greenfields after a chat with Ohno Yoko. We stumble upon a band called Ten Tonne Toungue, who in my muddy haze, elevate me, enlighten me and take the roof off and make my festival...
we stumble round the site, i manage to find some real meat (£6) ,a beer (£3.90) and some fags (£7.50)....money grabbing cunts..............................we wander until sunrise and everything seems better by the morning... as the sun cracks open the night my mind wobbles as a huge wave of stillness gabs hold of it. Fuck it. Our time is not now.

Bruce, you CUNT!

x

portugal - glastonbury

2009-06-25T11:04:00.002Z

ok so i got home from a week in portugal yesterday... had a few beers with Steve last night,,, walked around cardiff today and off to Glastonbury Festival tomorrow....Sicknote playing 10pm on Arcadia, Saturday night, next to Alex Metric, Freq Nasty, Evil Nine, Dreadzone and many more....
News on the clubs.... SUB cardiff, manchester and glasgow all GO GO GO !!!!!! we are now running 3 clubs.....in 3 countries. class.

got a pad full of ideas out in portugal......

the main thing i learned by having so much space is that i need to integrate hedonism into my working life. like have a holiday everyday, while working....
I was also visited by Johnny Marr(!) in a dream, really vivd he offered some great advice for me.... and made me realise that time is ticking and i have alot to do.... and that i must stay single, to achieve it,... stop messing people about, and messing my own head up and getting it all wrong.... he made me realise that NOW is the time.... this is my time. amazing trip, far too much to talk about here.... will add more notes soon.

SAFE

The End of the World...

2009-06-17T00:46:00.005Z

so....

tomorrow i get my break that i been gagging for all year...
i managed to get a cheap flight to Portugal, after the car hire company accidentally paid me my deposit back twice after a sicknote weekend a few weeks back. SAFE!

Just looked at where i'm off and planned a little adventure...

i land in FARO in Portugal and have decided to walk to a town called Sagres, approx 120km... about right for 7 days and considering how fucking fat i am at mo...

my planned journey by foot. (click to enlarge)

a short walk from Sagres is a place called Cape St Vincent.. which was also known as 'The End Of The World' until the discovery of the Americas. I plan on getting here and sorting my head out in silence...

Cape St Vincent, The end of the World.

i am also half way through Sicknote instrumental track, which i may call 'The End Of The World' or maybe 'Promontorium Sacrum' (the end of the world where the waters of the ocean boil at sunset) as it was known by the Romans...

i am in 2 minds on whether to finish this track and stick it out bfore i leave first thing in the morning for my flight... or shall i relax and finish the track when i get home...?

Band Sells one of it's Members on Ebay

2009-06-15T14:40:00.005Z

In a move not seen in them music industry before now, Welsh anarchic psychic-techno punksters, Sicknote have decided to auction off one of their band members on Ebay.

"Tough times have forced us to sell our dancer on Ebay in order to sustain the band", said Sicknote mouse-fiddler, Johan.

Here is the Ebay post description:

'We are selling Dr Conker!
that's right, Sicknote's infamous dancer is up for grabs....
The winning bidder will get to keep the doctor for 24 hours and he will be delivered FREE of charge to your doorstep in the Sickmobile, chauffered by the one and only Dickie Balboa....

The lucky winner can the 'use' the good doctor in anyway you see fit. eg. Cleaning, Sex, Spiritual Guidance, Councelling, Drug Partners or indeed he will dance.. for you, or maybe he could dance in your band or you could send him as a gift to a loved one... or indeed one of your enemies with instructions on what he should do upon arrival. Anyway the options are endless.... The dr will do ANYTHING for the 24 hours that you own him. NO RESERVE get bidding.

details of date and location an be sorted after the auction...

bidders outside the UK must cover flight costs. Thanks...'

"If there are any drugs involved, I would like to make absolutely clear that YOU have to supply them. If it's sex your thinking, then being a gay man, i can only turn straight for you if the winning bid is over £1000.", said Dr Conker.

The move comes after the band offered their entire catalogue for free on the internet, and through organising lots of it's own FREE parties and not generating any real income - trying to offer the punter no barriers in accessing their rather peculiar world.
The buzz has grown due to the extent of free stuff the band have been offering to their tribe and everyday there seems to be hundreds more Sicknote converts. The epidemic is truly spreading.

Have you got the bug yet?

place your bids HERE NOW.....
auction ends 25th June 2009.

Join the Sicknote tribe here.

Shirkonomics

2009-06-15T08:06:00.005Z

ERGONOMICS:
wikipedia: "Ergonomics is the science of designing the job, equipment, and workplace to fit the worker. Ergonomics is concerned with the ‘fit’ between people and their work. It takes account of the worker's capabilities and limitations in seeking to ensure that tasks, equipment, information and the environment suit each worker."

ok....

1stly
Im not a worker. im an hedonist. and its not a workplace its a bedroom...
so i need to change the word to adapt the new meaning..

Shirkonomincs? yes that's it......

Shirk: "to avoid work or other responsibilities because of laziness"
Shirkonomics: "Shirkonomics is the science of designing the furniture, equipment, and chillout space to fit the hedonist. Shirkonomics is concerned with the ‘fit’ between people and their hedonism. It takes account of the hedonist's desires, dreams, habits, capabilities and limitations in seeking to ensure that tasks, equipment, information and the environment suit."

look out for a post later today about how i am going to transform my space into the ultimate flapsandwich pod.

________________________________________________________________________________________________

why am i so psychotic at the moment?

2009-06-07T20:11:00.002Z

Decking Johnny last week (P&O), snapping at Filthy last night in Tanglwst and telling him to shut the fuck up and Tommy telling me that him and Cosmo think i've not been myself lately.. and that he's been avoiding me.

WHAT the fuck is going on!?

Luckily i got a week in Portugal by myself next week, to work it all out.

Safe.